Eight years ago, when I was pregnant with my very first baby, if you would have told me that I would eventually have a baby in my own bedroom, I would have laughed - and been incredibly grossed out by my future self. I couldn't imagine anything more scary - having a baby at home must be disgustingly messy, not to mention dangerous. And what if I couldn't handle the pain? No button to push for an epidural? Certainly I would never do such a thing. I was not a "hippie" mom, had no problems with hospitals, and simply could not see any benefit from having a child at home.
Its funny, the way time and experiences can change the way you view the world.
Our journey to homebirth was, in comparison to other families I know, very slow. We did not jump into this mindset with our first, second, or even third baby. It wasn't until baby number four that I was ready to consider homebirth as a possibility for us.
Along the way, I had my first two in the hospital with all the available technology - including epidurals. And, if I am being quite honest, those births were just fine. Everything went smoothly, the babies were healthy, the labors quick. But once I became pregnant with our third, I began to wish for something...more. Having had two babies, I knew the basics of birth, but I expanded my knowledge by reading everything I could get my hands on regarding natural birth. I learned, for the first time, about the possible side effects of the interventions I allowed during my first two labors. I also realized that none of the interventions in my labors had been necessary. Armed with this new knowledge, I set about to have a different experience with my third: my first ever natural birth.
My first natural birth was wonderful. I was able to avoid all the interventions that I sought to, and I felt empowered by my ability to have a baby drug-free. One thing that did bother me as I reflected on it later on was how hard I had to push with various staff to achieve the birth I wanted. Although I had a birth plan and several hospital forms refusing certain procedures, I had to explain and defend my decisions to everyone from the triage resident to the head of pediatrics.
This gave me a new-found passion for all things related to pregnancy and birth, and just months after my daughter was born, I took the training to become a birth doula. Through the training and subsequent attending of births, my perspective on birth, maternity care and pregnancy again began to change. I understood the why's and how's of hospital policies. I also deepened my knowledge of my own birth processes and how I handled birth.
I began to see the medical model of birth as being one option, but now realized that there were others. Similarly to choosing where to grocery shop, I could choose where to have a baby. The hospital offered one type of maternity care, but if I wanted something different, I could choose differently. As a consumer, I could decide on the things that mattered most to me and find a provider (and a location) that lined up with those ideals.
To be continued.
