Flying - And A Bit About Provision

I remember being eight, ten years old. I remember the feel of the bus seats on the back of my bare thighs, hot from the sun and scratchy - my first ride ever on a bus. I remember meeting other kids on the bus, gradually their names, where they are from. I remember day three of camp, walking around like I owned the place. I remember feeling like I belonged to a world of my own, a place beyond my family. I remember feeling curiously confident, knowing I could walk into a situation where I didn't know another soul and do just fine.

My oldest son carried his sister's suitcases to the waiting truck, labeled and ready to go. He'd been a nervous wreck for a week now, fears randomly cropping up. "What if they don't know where to go, Mom?" "I don't think Dinah gets how spending money works there." "What if one of them gets left at a rest stop?" In a rare show of older brother concern, his love and worry for his sisters leaked out of his carefully crafted preteen veneer of cool. I calmly reassured him that, just like when he went to camp for the first time, they will do just fine.

At 10 and 8, my girls looked awfully small standing in line to check in at the bus stop for camp. Their backpacks, purple and blue and chock full of snacks for the trip and a love note from Mama for each, hung heavily on their little shoulders. For a homeschool mom, camp is the first time you put your babies on a bus and walk away. It's the first time you put your most prized possessions in the hands of strangers and somehow drive off, knowing full well you won't see or hear from them for a solid week. Barring emergency, they are out of your hands for 7 days.

Their faces were a mix of anxiety and excitement. "Do I tell her my first name and last name or just my first name?" Dinah whispered, wanting to get the protocol just right. Fiona's voice was so small, telling the bus aid her name and grade.

This is good for my kids. An opportunity to, in a safe place, test out a tiny bit of independence. To learn how to find an adult for help that isn't Mom, because it won't always be Mom. Camp is one of the ways that I give my children the opportunity to test out a broader world than our own little bubble. When I let go of my grasp on their every day and give them a chance to fly on their own a little bit.

Letting your babies go is a slow process. Slower, for those of us who keep them home for a few years longer than most. I go home and even with five kids still at home, my girls leave a gaping hole in our days. A reminder that these moments are fleeting, these kids just here with us for a few precious years at the very beginning of their lives. It can catch you a little bit, just there in that tender spot in your heart that holds all the joys and pains of raising these kids. But the good thing? The thing that lets me sleep when my girls are a hundred miles away and I can't reach them or protect them?

My kids cannot go anywhere that God isn't. They take Him with them wherever they go, and He promises to provide for all their needs. That's more than I can promise. It's more than I can be. I think maybe that's the antidote to my hovering tendencies, my white knuckled grip on their hearts. I find my security in His promises because they will never, ever fail me. Can I believe on that for them, too? Can I hold on to the peace that comes from the heart knowledge of this truth?

That's the thing about letting your kids fly. They can never go so high that the net of God's presence, provision and love cannot catch them. They can never outrun His goodness and mercy that chases them down each and every day, forever.

Each day, I'm brought to a new place in parenting. I'm a pro at toddlers and potty training, but the new horizons of teens and adults kids is something that remains a mystery to me. My faith is tested each daym and I can feel God saying, "Trust me with this, too. Yep, and that. All of it. All of them. Every day. I've got this." 

Even though they leave the nest for longer and longer each time and someday will build their very own, they take with them a promise that I could never keep, but He can. And does.

John 14:27

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to future posts.  Thank you.

Into the Weekend {With a Few Links for You}

Today, I'm bundling up my crew and walking the block and a half to the library. I've been meaning to institute a Library day and Fridays seem to make the most sense - just an easing into the weekend and a gentle wrap up to our school week. This weekend is Ben's first basketball game of the season, so our weekend rhythm is changing a bit, too.

This weekend we have basketball, a funeral, our normal Sunday church and family dinner times and supposedly, as my husband just told me, another 6-10 inches of snow dumped on us for good measure.  Oy.  A big stack of library books sound like just the thing to ease into that. I'm also hoping to beat the snow in a quick run to the fabric store and have something to show you next week!

How about starting your weekend with a few links? These are some things I've been enjoying this past week.

~In the "middle of the muddle" is certainly how it feels around here.  These words about how quickly it all goes really spoke to my heart.

~My Mom showed me this article from the Wall Street Journal last weekend and I found it quite interesting - the difference between Mom's time and Dad's time.  I'm not sure what it all means, but it really gave me insight into why we do what we do.

~I've mentioned that the show Sherlock is a new favorite of mine. I don't watch much television so when something sparks my imagination, it's quite exciting.  This post from Christianity Today about why, exactly, so many women are falling for the newest incarnation of the world's most favorite detective was quite well done.

~This article from the Huffington Post entitled "On a Half lifetime Without My Mother" was just so beautiful.  Mamas, they leave marks on the souls of their children.  A good thing to remember in my own relationships with my children.

~I'm not sure how I missed Homeschool Ryan Gosling as long as I did, but I spent a few moments cracking up at these.  So. Funny.

~Jen over at Conversion Diary hit the nail on the head with this post on 22 Things I Learned the First Ten Years of Parenthood. It's like she's been looking in my windows.

~Lastly, my church blog reposted this piece I wrote a while back about Throwing Our Lives Away.  Valentines is coming up and it's always a good time to take a long, hard look at our marriages, our expectations and our beliefs.  And eat a lot of chocolate, too, of course.

Happy Weekending!

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to future posts.  Thank you.

Teething Babes and Link Love

In the midst of preparing for company chaos (it gets worse before it gets better!) and the happy/sad of a teething baby, I don't have much to say, or much time to say it.  Instead, some links I've been enjoying this week.

This article on High Reactive Temperaments and Secure Attachment was very interesting and helpful to me.

I know there have been many incarnations of this type of thing, but does it ever get old to see the creative minds of Moms and Dads playing with their babies?  I think not.

This from Ann.  "Don't belittle everyday pots and pans - they are the means for carrying theology into every day of our lives."

This video about my former youth pastor and friend, Byron, diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer - and the hope he has.

This piece from Mothering.com on parenting choices.  " Nobody else has walked the exact same path as I have, and nobody else has the exact same passions and concerns as a result of the experiences I’ve had. I’m just trying to raise my child the best way I know how, and I bet that every other parent is doing the same."

Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, the Beattitudes Workshop.  Friends of mine who have taken a vow of poverty and are creating beautiful things down in North Carolina at extremely affordable prices.  From their website:

"Taking inspiration from the simple, elegant lines of medieval monastery furniture and rustic, functional frontier type furniture, my vision is to provide the solid, durable hand crafted quality of those kinds of pieces to family homes at the best prices available. We are raising a large family and we well know the needs that go into providing a space for many different childrens' clothes and bed space and dining space and food preparation space. I want to provide those kinds of pieces to help your home become as efficient and simple as you want it to be, with tasteful and sturdy furniture design that can fit into any style home.

The challenge with modern handcrafted furniture is most frequently the oppresive cost. This leaves families having to choose between spending thousands of dollars on good quality furniture and leaving them financially drained, or buying low quality factory furniture from China for a few hundred dollars that neither holds up to the rigors of life in a house full of children, nor compliments the form and function of the home. I offer a middle way, with solid and durable hand-crafted furniture at better prices than you can find anywhere…and the flexibility of individually suited payment options. "

Please take a moment to check their site out.  I was flabbergasted at their asking price - and the fact that they deliver!


If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to future posts.  Thank you.

{This Moment}

{Oy, what a week.  I'll spare you the details, but whew.  So very glad it's Friday!  Here are a few  good reads to get you through the weekend.  See you Monday!}

Homeschool Planning

I'm getting excited for the new school year.  We kind of petered out toward the end of last year, with a new baby in the house and lots of other things going on.  So there will be a few little funny things, like finishing up the last few lessons in a math workbook before starting the shiny new one, etc.  But with all of this fun planning swirling around, I thought I'd put my list in a place where even I can find it - right here on my blog.  If you are planning to homeschool, I'd love to hear about your plans, too!

My theme for this year is to be thorough but combine where possible.  One of my hopes is to get my oldest two to be just a little more independent in their learning.  So, while some things we will do all together, I want them to work on doing their own tasks alone.   I will give each of them an opportunity, likely while the littles nap, during which I can help them with anything they have trouble with.

For Math, we are going with Horizons.  I love this program. A friend had told me it ended at 2nd grade, but I recently did a search and found it goes right up through 5th!  This program is easy to understand,easy to use and relatively painless.  It is also up to what I consider to be grade level, unlike a few other programs (learned that one the hard way!).

For English/Composition/Grammar/Spelling, we are going with Rod and Staff.  I've heard good things and it seems pretty streamlined, which is something I need in this department.  Something with daily assignments that I can just pull out.  I'm just getting it for my older 2 kids, but if Dinah's seems easy enough, I'll have Fiona do it as well.  For most things, my girls work together and do the same work.

History, we are doing Story of the World.  I really liked this program, but last year it got away from us, so we are doing book 3 this year.  My plan is to read it out loud to all of them, and then have the kids write out the answers to the questions.  I love being able to combine curriculum when I can, and this is a great program for that.

Science.  My oldest is doing Apologia Science through our homeschool co op, but I still need to find a curriculum for the girls for this (any suggestions?).  If I can't come up with anything else, we will probably do A Beka Science.

For Literature, I am looking into book lists that correspond with our History time period.  For additional practice with Phonics, the girls will keep on with Explode the Code.

I'm not altogether sure what to do for Bible.  For the past year, we've been reading the Daily Office and doing the prayers.  I think that may be enough, but I'd like to get the Jesus storybook bible for the littler ones - I've heard it is really excellent.

For the little ones - I hope to do a story/circle time first thing in the morning, and little activities during the day.  Jonah will have a few workbooks to ease him into kindergarten as well.

Writing it all out seems like quite a bit - but I know it will add some good structure our days.   Remembering to let there be life in these plans, room to breathe, room to supplement, and room, most of all, to learn.  To keep it fun, light, and happy.  Yes, it's going to be good!

How is your planning coming along?




If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to future posts.  Thank you.

Friday Links

Some things I have been reading/enjoying this week.

My Job Chart - online chore list maker/interactive program.  I am hoping my son is more inclined to get his chore list done when he gets to see the rewards stacking up!


A conversation with a Jewish mother of 11.  Good insight into why educated women choose to have large families.

Large Family, Small home - how to make it work.

Why Mothers Kiss Their Babies - amazing look into this beautiful and awesome creation!


How To Live A Life Fulfilled - beautiful words from a beautiful woman.


Marriage And Expectations - this post speaks the truth about the trouble expectations can cause in marriage.

Link Love

Some things I've been reading and enjoying this week.

On Marriage -

I liked this post from Women Living Well. These things are easy to forget to do in the dailyness of life, but so worthwhile!

On Quilting -

I discovered this gem of a blog with a lot of information for getting started on quilting.  Check out her tutorials for complete how-to's!

On Gardening -

This will be the first year I attempt to garden (eek!).  I kill everything I touch, so it will be an adventure.  This is a great blog on tips for beginner gardeners.

On Babies:

I found this awesome etsy site with beautiful patterns for newborn photo props!  So adorable, I think I need to knit a few for #5.

On Home Schooling -

A bit old, but I love her words and perspective.  And agree 110%.