Living With Mistakes {Yarn Along}

I was almost done with the sweater on our drive home when I saw it, way back at the beginning of the joining from the yoke. Right there in the front, cabled the wrong way. I stopped and felt it flood over me. Defeat.

The blundered twist was at least four hours of work back. I couldn't live with it. Could I?

This is Rosie's special sweater. Frogged from various patterns a few times until I found the perfect one (Antler on Ravelry here). Knit in a semisolid from Mosaic Moon called "Rosebud," I'd been looking up rosewood buttons for the front. I'd already tried it on her before beginning the button band and knew it would be the perfect fit. How I missed the glaring mistake then, I have no idea. Once seen, I can't seem to not see it.

So the question stood. Could I live with it? Right there in front, cabled incorrectly? Could I stomach ripping back four hours of work after frogging so much before? I couldn't decide. So I left it in the project bag. I stopped looking up buttons. I drifted back into the "not knitting" fog I had been in before getting excited about this project.

I've been thinking about mistakes lately. The kind that are completely unintentional. The kind that knock the wind out of you unexpectedly. How we respond and live with the mistakes we all make all the time. Do we stop trying? What if there's no going back? Is there  way to move forward, carrying it with us?

I think so. I ask a few friends and they tell me - leave it. Yes, right there in front. Imperfect and flawed, just like the Mama who made it, because isn't that what parenting is like? A work of love, riddled with missteps yet still somehow beautiful and warm despite.

I pull it out of the work bag. Time to finish what I started.

(Linking up with Ginny today!)


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Late Night Crafting

I seemed to have lost it for quite some time, that crafting mojo of mine. First the early weeks of pregnancy, with their exhaustion and sickness. Then the second trimester, feeling better but still falling asleep quite early. But now, now I've got that thing going on that can be both frustrating and awesome. Pregnancy insomnia. For me it's not really insomnia at all, just messed up sleep schedules. Staying up too late leading to late afternoon naps which feeds the disordered pattern further.

I certainly could work to correct it, be extra strict with myself and maybe power through the afternoon drowsiness and put myself to bed early. The trouble is - I secretly love it.

Time alone (or at least with no children around) for hours? It has been a while since I had much of that and it is kind of amazing. Especially when it coincides with compulsive creativity.

This week I went ahead and knit Rosie a shrug on an absolute whim. When dressing her for church on Sunday, I noted her lack of light colored sweaters. Thanks to living in Michigan and knowing that any sweet little sleeveless spring church dress demands wool well into June, I dug into the yarn stash, sat down for a few hours and churned this out. I followed the Something Beautiful pattern and chose the option for short sleeves.

The next night I finally printed off the pattern pieces to the Sally dress I've been meaning to make her since before Christmas. My plan was to cut out the pieces and maybe sew it the next day after co op. Well, by the next morning all that was left to do was a bit of hemming. Whoops.

In light of this recent compulsion and those lovely stretches of late night time to do what I please, I'm trying to be a little bit more intentional and come up with a plan to make the most of it.

I'll definitely be making another Sally dress for Rosie - maybe a few for gifts as well. And this baby needs this romper, I think. The yarn for the christening gown should be here soon, along with an extra skein that might have to become a sweater to add to the baby shower pile.

Linking up with Ginny and Frontier Dreams.

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Life Lessons From Knitting

{Putting the finishing touches on this Neverland Hoodie for my friend Kris' little guy. What are you working on?}
Knitting can be pure joy. Sometimes it's smooth and easy and just clips along at a quick pace, turning out better than you could have imagined. It looks lovely, drapes beautifully and is received by it's intended owner with the appreciation you hope for when putting so much time and effort into it.

But sometimes knitting is fraught with troubles from moment one. The gorgeous yarn you pick pools horribly, or is so splitty you are rejoining every other row. The weave is either too tight or too loose. You rip back at least once after an unclear pattern steers you wrong or you miss out on some tiny detail. It can be discouraging. Disenchanting. Disappointing.

You might set it aside for a few days, take a break to breathe and remember that knitting isn't actually out to get you. You might even leave it in the basket (or, if you're me, shoved in a corner somewhere) for a month, feeling a bit sick each time you think about taking it up again.

But the thing about knitting is it grows your patience. It fosters endurance. It requires resiliency, problem solving and acceptance. I'm not going to go right out and say knitting makes me a better person, but it gives me practice in a lot of the life skills that can just be so hard to pin down. In relationships. In life in general.

It reminds me to act intentionally, give things time to sort themselves out, not get too emotionally tied up in things that really don't matter. It reminds me persistence is a good thing, but taking a break can be just exactly what any given situation needs. It reminds me that some of the biggest tangles we find ourselves in can be solved just by taking the time and refusing to rush.

Sometimes a whole project needs to be ripped out, but it always has the potential to become something new. Knitting reminds me that patience, resiliency, hard work and imagination are valuable things to keep in your toolbox. Not just for knitting. For life.




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Why Creativity Matters

I just finished up two of the longer term projects I was working on and was on Ravelry late last night, trying to find another project to use up yarn I already have - a bit of a struggle, if I'm being completely honest because ooh...the yarn. I should know better than to look at yarn. I'm not a big "stuff" person in general, but yarn is definitely my undoing. I looked up the type of yarn Ginny was using on her tunic and fell head over heels in love. I even showed my husband, who nodded absently, intentionally not giving me false hopes because yarn is not in the budget now nor will be for a long time. I knew this, but I cast one last longing look. Sigh. So pretty. So lovely. So completely unnecessary in light of the box of yarn in my closet. Instead I looked up other projects that use yarn I already have and settled in to make something that will be just fine.

That's really why creativity matters so much, why it's a component of life that should be nurtured in every child. It's the wiggle room that allows you to find another way, to make do, to be a problem solver instead of a box checker. There's trial and error and there's learning in creativity in ways that just going with the flow can never offer. It give you that little "can-do" spark even when things look bleak - and the potential to yield results better than you could have imagined.

I remember that when I click closed the tab on the Luna Fiber Arts webpage. Sometime maybe. But today, I think I'm going to figure out how to dye some of the bare cascade I already have. Maybe have the kids help me because learning how to make and do is one of my favorite parts of being a parent - and one of my favorite parts of being alive. Made in the image of the first ever Creative, it's a part of who I was created to be.

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Baby Sweaters and Summer Reads

Finishing something is, in my experience, a complete rush - followed almost immediately by the need to create more. Within moments of packing this little sweater up for it's intended recipient, I cast on another in limited edition malabrigo sock.  It's been a long time since I have actually finished a knitting project, so this one nailed me right between the eyes. There are many aspects to what fuels my knitting passion - selecting yarn and patterns, casting on, moving through the pattern and then finishing and blocking. Blocking may be the hardest part. I know everything looks better blocked, but doesn't it sometimes seem like it takes forever? But really, finishing something completely, blocked and photographed and given away - that's what does it. Oh, I love that part. Ravelry notes for this little beauty can be found here. I will definitely knit this sweater again.

In book news, I finished up "Unbroken"  by Laura Hillenbrand last weekend. Really an excellent read. I'm not sure I'll want to see the movie, but I'm glad I read the book. Before that I read Lois Lowry's "The Giver," a book everyone seemed to have read growing up but I never did. I requested Elizabeth Esther's book "Girl at the Edge of the World" through our library and it should be along shortly. Apparently this is my year for reading spiritual memoirs. And recently published books. My husband has been wanting to read "The Skeleton Crew" by Deborah Halber and it sounded interesting to me as well, so we borrowed the audiobook and are listening together. A little survival, a little futuristic utopia, a little spiritual memoir, a little who-dunnit. Yep, that sums up my interests nicely. All that's missing is homeschool reference and I think we're good.

{Ordinarily I would be linking up with Ginny today over at Small Things, but due to recent events I am not sure she will be blogging today. I hope you join with me in praying for Sarah's family as well as Ginny as she walks through the grief of losing such a dear friend.}

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Cables and Air Raids {Yarn Along}

I haven't done yarn along in a while. I've been kind of slogging through a few different projects, nothing very exciting or new. Summertime just doesn't really translate to a lot of knitting to me, although a few cool, autumn-ish nights recently saw me making some plans for winter wool.

The thing about knitting for me is when the mood strikes? I have to go for it. Thankfully I have a few "in progress" projects to choose from. I have been working on a Neverland hoodie for a friend, but took a brief break when I remembered I have a baby shower to attend next week.

I pulled out this sweater I had started for Rosie and never finished. Fingering weight super soft stroll tonal in the sunnyside baby pattern with cables. All it needed is a finished sleeve and some buttons. That I can do. Of course I was nearly done when I left it unattended for a bit, and wouldn't you know the toddler got into it and ripped that sleeve clean out. Toddlers are something of an occupational hazard around here, but thankfully I have plenty of time for a do-over.

My sister in law loaned me her copy of Unbroken and I'm about halfway through. I tried to read it to unwind after a late night work out and ended up dreaming adrenaline-fueled dreams of WWII battles. Not exactly a relaxing read but still an amazing book. I'll just remember in the future to put this one down a good hour or so before bed.

Linking up with Ginny today! What are you working on/reading this summer?

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Tears and Neverland

It's been awhile since I blogged about knitting. The truth is, although I have quite a few projects "in progress," I've stalled out a bit. Long days out in the sun with my kids and evenings in front of the fire with a baby or two in my lap have kept me from moving along. It's been good, this immersion into this season where wool is really the last thing on my mind and I'm still pretending (hoping?) that winter won't come again for at least 3 years.

One of my hibernating projects that I finally picked up again last night is this little Neverland hoodie - the Peter version. Last Spring, a friend and I struck a deal and she crocheted my girls some truly fabulous Power Puff Girls dolls for their birthdays. In return, I knit up a pair of shorties for her baby and started in on this sweater for her son. I'm thankful that the weather isn't calling for wool hoodies at the moment so she might not notice that I'm not done yet (sorry Kris!). I'm almost done with the body and hoping to bring it along to the beach next week and finish it up. I love this pattern so much. It's everything you want in a front buttoning hooded sweater for a small child. Just darling. I can't wait til it's finished.

Another reason I've been neglecting my knitting is that my leisure time has been spent elsewhere - specifically, reading. Last weekend, in less than 24 hours, I read "Something Other Than God" by Jennifer Fulwiler of Conversion Diary - and cried at the end. I am not a crier. I don't cry in movies. I don't cry at books. But I cried at the end because her story is so universal, yet so personal. It was so well written and truly moving, I still get goosebumps thinking about it. Jen is Mama to 6 kids and just seemed like someone I would know - someone I would get. That made reading the book so much more than just reading and more like making a friend. I promptly tweeted her at the end and nerded out when she actually replied. Ohmygosh. If you are looking for an uplifting read this summer, check it out and let me know what you think!


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Mud and Knitting

Yesterday, all 6 of my children played happily and peacefully together for quite some time. I was on the phone with a friend and decided to let them go for it - even though it meant every last one of them was head to toe covered in mud. That's not an exaggeration. Spring storms coupled with, well, dirt, has kind of a messy effect. They love it. I'm a pretty "free range" Mama but I have to admit I cringed when I saw Rosie plop right down in the center of a mud puddle in some longies I had knit for Peter when he was small.

Ah, well. That's what it's for, right? I knit these things because I want people to use them, wear them, maybe even get muddy in them. I've never been someone who wants to put something pretty up on a shelf, far away from anyone, to be enjoyed from a distance. Perhaps it's my kinetic personality, but I prefer to touch and experience life...and I want my children to be able to as well. That means I let my girls wear dress up clothes outside because, to me, the point of dress up is to pretend, wherever you are. It means that sweet sweater I knit for Jonah has a little hole in it that needs mending after 3 children have worn it in every sense of the word. And sometimes it means letting kids do the dirty work/play of childhood and buttoning my lip against anything else. I can always get them another pair of socks, another tshirt, another pair pants. I can't manufacture these moments of theirs together, experiencing life in a way only kids can.

So, knitting. I've been doing a little bit lately. Mostly shorties for friends, which you may know if you follow me in Instagram (and you really should!). They go pretty quickly and are so cute! I finished up my third pair in less than a week last night. I can't wait to make Rosie a few! I hope that these, like all things I knit for children, are used, worn and played in. Possibly until they are worn clean out. I can't think of a better fate for something I made than to be worn and enjoyed to the fullest.


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Honey and When Knitting Isn't About Knitting At All

I'm not sure I actually like knitting.

I love yarn. I love scrolling through patterns on ravelry, finally choosing the right one and getting all excited to start. But then begins the impatience.

I'm annoyed with the time it takes to wind the yarn and I can't wait to cast on, except I strongly dislike casting on. Take, for example, my most recent project. This honey cowl required 280 stitches cast on, due to knitting it out of fingering weight yarn. I had to pull it out and start over three times. By the time I was done, I was so irritated with the whole process! But it doesn't end there. About 2 rows into the border stitches, I'm bored and can't wait to begin the main body of the project. The excitement of that lasts about 5 rows before I am once again itching to be done.

Of course, I do love knitting. I'm just impatient during those times with knitting is really just about knitting. But sometimes knitting isn't about knitting at all.

I started knitting "for real" about 7 years ago, while pregnant with Fiona. In the years since, knitting has been a constant in my life. I could go on and on and on about creativity and how important that is, but knitting for me is more than that. In some ways, it's therapy. When I'm having a hard time, hurt feelings or just need to step away from something that is more than I can handle, I pick up some knitting. In no time, I feel better. I can't say why it works that way. It just does.

I read a book a while ago, really an unremarkable, silly little book. I did love the part about an old man who knitted stories. His memories spelled right out in brilliant hand dyed and spun yarn with particular stitches and cables that journaled the story of his life. Despite the lackluster nature of the rest of the story, that thought stayed with me.

So I knit a honey cowl in buttery yellow because I needed a reminder of sunshine and honeybees and daffodils and summer. I knit at it when I was happy and I knit it even more when I was sad. Embedded right into the fabric is my mind, my heart, my hurt, my happiness. Yesterday, alongside a cup of coffee - it was just what I needed.

Sure, I can buy a scarf at Target for a fraction of the cost, with no time spent. But knitting is more than that. Knitting is a piece of me, spelled right out in stitches for the world to see.

I'm not sure I like knitting. I don't, always. But I need it. For that, I'm so glad it's a part of my life.

*Ravelry notes for my honey cowl here. What are you working on?*

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{More} Snow and Shalom

It's not rare for March to be snowy here in Michigan, but it's not entirely welcome. I will say it kind of legitimizes my recent decision to knit myself a bulky weight sweater. It will certainly be sweater weather into May, at least.

I cast on for the Shalom cardigan last weekend and although everyone who has made it claims that it goes lightning fast, I haven't experienced that...likely because I've got a few other things going on right now. I'm sure that once the yoke is done, it will be short work to finish it up. I'm on the last set of twisted ribbing and the plan is for sleeves, at least 3/4 length.  I'm adding at least 2 more button holes because I'm not a big fan of the look of just one. The yarn is Cascade Ecological Wool in natural, the same that I used for Rosemary's Car Coat which is still holding up pretty well. Is it silly that the name of the pattern pretty much decided for me that it would be my next project? Shalom supposedly means "peace," and goodness knows I could use some of that right now. Maybe even putting it on like a garment each morning. A good practice for Lent, I think.

Our birthday month is kicked off by Fiona's 7th on Sunday, so that is keeping me pretty preoccupied. It's always a bit of a shock to think of my babies getting so big so fast - and always a bit of a whirlwind when we celebrate one after another in such quick succession. Just another turn around the sun with these not-so-little people insisting on getting bigger each day. So much for a Mama to think about, hold to, look forward to.

Linking up with Ginny today!

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Knitting, Reading and Writing

This week has been busy.  We had a few sick kids, I had a few deadlines, and wouldn't you know the sleeves on that shrug didn't get touched. Not once. I did knit a quick hat for a friend's birthday, but only took this horrible cell phone photo of it half completed.  So different week, same knit-in progress. I'm failing this yarn along thing!

Writing has become a bit more than just this blog in the past few weeks and that is something that, while I am  excited about and enjoying immensely, is challenging how I spend my time. I'm needing to define some parameters for myself of how and when I work, which is tricky for me. I'm the girl who gets an idea in the shower, or while making dinner, and has to get it down as immediately as possible before it disappears into the recesses of my baby-addled mind. In the past, when I've carved out time to write, I sit and blankly stare at the screen, completely uninspired. I'm trying to find some sort of happy medium that doesn't see me shirking my other responsibilities or dying an artistic death with ultra-strict scheduling. While I'm working on figuring this out, I hope you bear with me - however it plays out here.

In book - news, I just ordered "Divergent" and hope to read it quickly before the movie comes out. I know, I know, shudder at my teeny-bopper choice! I really enjoyed the Hunger Games and sometimes that mindless type of brain-candy book is just so fun. I'm taking suggestions for something a bit meatier for Lent though...any ideas?

Linking up with Ginny today!

{I'm also sharing over at my church blog today. Come on by!}

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Sunshine Therapy

This winter has been so long and dark.  Snow upon snow upon snow here in Michigan, getting so that I hardly notice that it's snowing anymore.  I walked through what was our lawn for the first time in a month yesterday, and the snow drifted up over my knees.  This winter, I've felt buried alive.  It's getting so that the snow, the snow is just fine.  I don't mind it, really.  I've overcome my fear of driving in it and have come to accept clearing the car off every single time I use it as just the way it is.  But this time of year, it's the sun I crave. The sun that I miss. The lack of sun that turns me into a bit of a cantankerous grouch.

But then yesterday, yesterday, there was sun. A balmy 35 degrees, too, so I threw open all of the curtains and stood right in the middle of a warm pool of light. Sunshine Therapy. It's amazing to me the difference a little sunshine can make, even when I don't leave the house. Sunshine motivated me to do some cleaning and dejunking.  I talked on the phone to a friend which improved my mood even further. Despite a baby under the weather and cancelled co op, I had a good day.

I worked on Dinah's birthday/spring shrug and I'm nearly done. Just need to do little short sleeves. The pattern is "Something Beautiful" which I have made before, the yarn something my yarn fairy sent last summer - organic merino, I think. A quick little one skein project, even for the largest size (I made an 8/9). The girls painted. The boys made huge fantastic lego creations. Almost as if the dark had stolen even our creative mojo, and now that the sun was peeking in our windows, we were revived.

Today, we're back to the normal grey of February - but I can take it. For that moment yesterday, I had a little glimpse - Spring is on the way. Something in the slant of the sun and the smell of snowmelt reminds me that, even if (when) we get more snow, we're on our way back around. Each day one step closer to sunshine and warmth.


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