The Price of Parenthood

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I've heard the conjecture that children cost big, and I've seen the numbers and the justification, and still I have four and dream of more.  I've seen eyes roll, heard voices whisper, and even those who ask politely for an explanation because they just.don't.get how someone in this day and age can afford a crew this size.

And it all makes me frustrated and sad, because although some truly do want the answers, they are asking the wrong questions.

The price of parenthood is not found in the cost of children's clothes, the pricetag on a fancy new stroller or even the tuition of the college of their dreams.  Its not found in doctor's visits or orthodontics or hair cuts over the years.

When I'm asked how we dare, in this economy, to blatantly welcome babies and not only that, live on one income, I explain the sacrifice of one car, buying second hand, budgeting and renting a small home.

But  I am not answering the right questions.

The true answer to how it works, how we make it, how we thrive here is found in how parenting has impacted us.

When we cradled that first, second, third, fourth baby, we looked into their eyes and wanted to give them the world.  To us, that isn't designer clothes or trips to Disney land, although there is nothing wrong with that.  We wanted something even more priceless.

For my son, I wanted a brother.  For my daughter, a sister.  For all my children, a mama at home.  For all of them, parents with a strong commitment to each other and to God.  Yes, we wanted to give them the best things of life. The things you can not find in a store or on a vacation or anywhere in the world but here.

And it does cost us.  It is there looking us in the face every morning, days full of living intentionally, making sure that everything we care about is being well taken care of.  Have I told my kids about Jesus today?  Have I strengthened my marriage today?  Have I advocated close sibling relationships?  These things carry far more weight than financing a new car for a 16th birthday.
 
There is no way to calculate the true price of parenthood.  It is beyond comprehension.  It isn't about what the kids cost you in monetary terms, it is in the way they change you as a person.  And on that, there is no price tag.