Authentic?

I've tried my hand at writing a few posts here and there that speak of some sort of authority, because that's what you do when you blog - you stake your claim as an authority.  But time and again I feel that the tone of such posts rings false - at least for me.

If I am indeed to be authentic here with you all, I must first admit to be no authority.  The raw, true, authentic reality of it all is this: I have nothing figured out.

I wrestle with doubt on the smallest of life decisions.  I waver daily in the choices I've made.  I write and I pray for solid footing, and some days I find it there beneath the fog in my brain.  Some days, however, I don't.  I skitter to and fro and reconsider everything I have ever done up until this point.

I am encouraged and humbled by the comments and emails I receive from this place and the questions, oh the questions, you dear souls send my way.  Should I homeschool my kids?  How do you get your kids to obey?  Why am I overwhelmed?

I read them and I nod along and then I answer in whatever bumbling way I can.  And it usually comes out in the end that I don't know.

This is what I do know.  I know how to scramble eggs in the morning and I know all the disney princess songs.  I know how to read Little House on the Prairie and keep the kids captivated.  I know how to push 3 kids on the swings at once.  I know how to knit tiny baby clothes.  I know how to fall in love with a new baby even though they aren't the first.  I know how to pour out my heart, my confusion, my brokenness, and I know I'm heard.

I'm no authority, and I live day to day in this crazy mess of a life, relying on the only thing I can:  faith.

Faith that, although I will probably never be anything more than my kids' mom, that is enough.