Wednesday, November 3, 2010

In which I make gravy.

 photo from

Its 630 pm.  Husband will be home in an hour.  I don't want to make dinner.

"but it will be the 3rd night in a row that you haven't" whispers that pesky voice in my head.

Oh hush!  says I.  I had a long day.

"no, you didn't."  Says that voice.  And you know what?  It's right.

I didn't make the house nice today.  I made breakfast and lunch for the kids, but didn't clean up behind myself.  I did school with the bigs but didn't read a bible story to my littles.  The laundry that was waiting to be folded this morning hasn't budged, and certainly hasn't folded itself.

I played online.  I read a chapter in a book.  I talked on the phone.  I even took a short nap.

I was lazy.

I could call my husband right now, tell him to pick up a pizza or something on the way home.  And he wouldn't say a word.  He'd come home and put the pizza on the table and give me a hug and kiss and ignore the mess like he always does.  He wouldn't ask me what I did all day, or why there was no dinner.  He'd ignore the laundry basket.

Oh, that husband.  I don't deserve him.  He gets up every day and gets himself dressed as best he can and never says a word about me standing in the kitchen, still in my bathrobe as he leaves the house.

We made this pact so many years ago and he keeps faithful, going to work each day to provide for our crew and me, rain or shine, sickness or health.  And day after day I fail to keep up my side of the bargain: Keep house.  Cook.  Laundry.  Raise Children.  And day after day, he never says a word about it.  Nothing against me, not one word.

And while I'm thinking it all out, standing in my kitchen with phone in hand, so tempted to call the pizza man but knowing, knowing that I need to do something different - an idea comes to me.

And that idea's name is gravy.

I don't know how to make gravy.  Not really.  I get by with making my mashed potatoes "garlic" so they don't need gravy.  But my southern man with the Nan who cooks like a master, he loves gravy.  He'd eat it on anything.

There is chicken that can be baked quickly, easily.  I hate cooking in a dirty kitchen but it can't be helped.  I throw the chicken breasts in a pan, drizzle some oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper and slide them in the oven.  And now its the potatoes turn, chop chop, in the pot, water, salt, set to boil.  And oh vegetables, these frozen peas will have to do - its all there is.  Give the baby two to chew on and put the rest in a bowl, microwave to steam.

I take the chicken out and look dubiously at the drippings in the pan.  It can't possibly be that hard, can it?

Somehow, I make the gravy.  At least, it looks somewhat like gravy.  And it even tastes somewhat like gravy.

He might not notice.  He probably won't care.  He'd be fine with pizza or ramen noodles and would love me still even if I never cooked again.

No, I don't deserve that hard working, strong and silent man of mine.

But tonight, I made him gravy.  Because that's what you do when you're in love.

Bookmark Digg Bookmark Bookmark Facebook Bookmark Reddit Bookmark StumbleUpon Bookmark Yahoo Bookmark Google Bookmark Technorati Bookmark Twitter


  1. This is beautiful, truthful, heartfelt, and so real. Thanks for posting!

  2. I have to comment on this hubby comes from a Southern family, and boy do they know how to make gravy!! So I've learned how to make beef gravy, chicken gravy, red-eye gravy from ham....only my "yankee" secret is to use corn starch instead of's smoother, less doughy tasting, and delish! Hubby has been known to say, "My favorite meal is one where I can pour gravy over everything on my plate." ;D I'm trying to perfect the biscuits....

  3. Thanks for the comments ladies! Ethelapple, care to share a recipe? I just winged mine, always looking to perfect my faux-southern cooking!

  4. I can so relate! My dear husband will also bring home a pizza and not notice the laundry basket. His grace to cover my shortcomings with understanding and to fill in the gaps rather than notice what is lacking is heaven-sent!

    I have one tip for gravy...put a measuring cup in the freezer for a little while before you mix the water (has to be cold from the frig) and corn starch in it. Then, once the cold ingredients hit the warm drippings, your gravy will get nice and thick!

    One last thing...I agree with Jennifer - your post IS beautiful, truthful, heartfelt and real! Thank you for sharing!

  5. Um, please don't ever stop blogging. I know it is a sacrfice but you've been given a gift. I cannot possibly tell you what this post did for me as I sit here in the midst of a disaster zone. It is nap time and that is when I usually work my magic and get dinner going. Today, I have felt - lazy... But, reading this has been a huge blessing to know that I am not alone. We all have days like this and I too have a husband like yours. God was good to us. ;)
    This was such a great post! I loved - no clung to every word and it encouraged me to go the extra mile when I can for my wonderful, faithful husband.

  6. I have so been there, but in my case God gave me a different sort of husband. Not bad or wrong, just different. So I approach this from a different perspective. Even so, your last line resonated with me, "Because that's what you do when you're in love." And I agree with that totally. I thought about it and when you are in love with Christ or your husband or both, you deny self. In this instance, the whole dinner was a sacrifice and it was love. These things that happen in small ways and huge ways and mundane ways are love. They are commitment, they are thankfulness, they are showing respect. They are keeping marriages together. It starts with a willingness to be willing. And you were and then you went with that and it turned into a heart attitude, which manifested itself into physically showing commitment and love this time through gravy. I know your husband appreciated it, but you sent up a sacrifice to God through this. You honored God and his commands to respect your husband. Treasures in heaven, baby! I'm all about it!


Thank you so much for stopping by! I love hearing from you! While you're here, don't forget to click "subscribe"!