This Year: The Plan

I've never been one for New Years resolutions. They just never seem to work out for me. However I was completely intrigued by Ann Voskamp's "naming of the New Year" that she does each year.  It is more of a theme than a resolution, an overriding concept that is pondered and worked on throughout the year.  I suppose it is similar to a resolution, but for some reason I found it to be a more softer, kinder version.

Last night I was once again walking home from my parent's house, stars sparkling above, ice crunching thick underfoot.  I thought of words for the new year.  Honesty. Kindness.  Gentleness.  Service.

One that seemed to stick, much as I wished it wouldn't, was Honesty.

Honesty is hard.  Honesty can be embarrassing.  Honesty is so vulnerable and so exposed.  Does this year really have to be one of Honesty?

The hardest part about Honesty is that it requires the taking off of blinders and a long, hard look at all the things we hide from ourselves.  Selfishness.  Pride.  Judgment. 

This year, I'm not only choosing a word, but also choosing a task.  Once I accepted the word "Honesty" as the theme for 2011, I thought about how that would manifest itself in my life.

I have this busy, crazy life here with these soon to be 5 little people, the care and keeping of whom never seems to be completely done and is always completely exhausting.  I do believe that at this point in my life, this is where I am called to be, although sometimes I wish I were able to go out into the world and help those who so desperately need it.

 But I don't have to kiss my littles goodbye and head to Uganda or Haiti or Guatemala  to find people who are broken and need help.  We're all of us broken and needy in one way or another.  And there is work to be done right here in my own life, in my own relationships.

How often I forget that.

When was the last time I asked even my closest of friends if there was anything I could do for them?  I hate to admit it, but I can't remember.  A friend from church, an overwhelmed Mama in the nursery, have I offered?

I think I am afraid to ask because my plate is so full.  But sometimes all it takes is a prayer, or 15 minutes listening to someone to bolster them, give them the support they need.

If I am honest with myself, there are times that I, too, feel that I am drowning - but am afraid to ask for help.  We are so encouraged, so trained, so raised to be self sufficient that pride can get in the way and we can forget that we were never meant to live this way.

Community.  Relationship.  Support.  Love.  Service.

In this year of Honesty, I am hoping to focus on asking for and giving help where needed.  Being honest with myself and those around me.  Life is hard.  Life isn't perfect.  Life demands community.  Honesty is the key.

Join me in this?