On Community

For as long as I can remember, I have loved people.

For as long as I can remember, I have been one of those people who is happiest around others.

My primary "love language" has always been Quality Time.  When I have spent good quality time with those that I love, my love tank is overflowing; and when I have long stretches of spending time alone, I don't do as well.

I remember, as a teen, filling out one of those online surveys.  "What is your greatest fear?"  At the time, the answer was "Being Alone."  Not alone for reasonable amounts of time, I certainly need alone time as much as the next person, but rather being alone permanently.

Thankfully, for the most part, my life is filled with quality time.  With my children.  With my parents and (some of) my siblings, thanks to our close proximity.  And up to recently, with my husband and also my friends.

My husband's new schedule has thrown this off a bit.  The two of us see one another every day, its true, but we never have time together without the children.  This has been a hard adjustment for me in particular.  The new schedule has impacted my other relationships as well.  I used to have an evening every week that I would spend with my closest friends.  This has been harder to swing recently.  Even time on the phone with my girl friends has been limited.  When my husband is home during the day, I don't feel as free to talk.  In some ways, I feel like no matter who I am speaking with, it is at the expense of someone else.

All of this has required me to have a look at how I balance my life.  I need to rearrange the puzzle pieces of my time and be sure that it is being used in the best possible way.  My particular personality makes this extra hard as I try and fit in all the people that mean so much to me.

I am someone who thrives on community, on time spent with others.  This includes my "mommy friends" who I love to talk with and relate to on our common goals in mothering.  This is why blogging and spending time on facebook can pose a difficult problem for me.  I can get too busy with my online communities and neglect that which I really ought to be doing.  Balance is truly key.

Our communities help shape who we are, the things we do, the goals we have for ourselves.  Creating a great community is one of those priceless investments in life.  When we surround ourselves with people who lift, inspire, encourage and challenge us, something beautiful happens:  we grow.

How do you invest in the communities in your life?  How do you balance quality time with friends when family life is so busy?