{Baby}

I rub my cheek on his silk soft head, eyes closed.  He's fussing a bit so I stand him on my lap, reach his little arms to the sky.

He grins at me then gives a tiny belch followed by a sigh.  His round little tummy peeking out beneath a tshirt testimony to a babe growing faster than Mama can keep up with clothing sizes.

He shoves chubby dimpled fingers into his toothless little mouth and soon a crystalline drip of drool is running down his pudgy arm.  He catches my eye and grins right up to his eyes.

He seems to know I can't resist and doesn't seem to mind when I crush him close, find that sweet spot just under his chin where he smells like pure baby bliss.  Inhale, exhale.  I'm breathing him in.

He's finally done indulging his lovestruck Mama, starts in with flailing and chatting so I set him down on my lap where he explores the seam of my jeans, dripping on me the whole time.  I run my finger along the sole of his foot and he squirms and laughs.

In front of me, on the table, is a basket full of laundry to be put away.  To my right, a load yet to be folded.  There are so many things to do all the time.  Things that could distract me from watching the miracle of life unfolding here on my lap.

I'm not the only one who marvels.  After an evening bath, his oldest brother sits in the rocker Mom bought me to rock my first babe in.  His big brother lips pressed right up to the back of that downy wee noggin.  The rocker creaks with the weight of them.  My heart, too.

Fiona twirls around the dining room table, asking about her babyhood.  We sit down to the computer and pull up pictures of all the babies that passed this way, now long and lean and learning so many things.  And I realize I'd forgotten, forgotten how her hair curled just so and how bright blue his eyes were.  How she tottered on thick, chubby legs just a few years ago.

A Mama's heart can get weighed down with the memories, and with the time that rushes on past.  I wouldn't change the weight of it for all the world.  My heart is so heavy because its so full.  Full of all them, held just here deep inside me.