Just a Picture

When the picture came across my news feed on facebook, I must have audibly gasped because my daughter stuck her head into the dining room.  "What, Mom?"


And for a minute, I just had no words.


Have you seen this?

Unfortunately, because it was facebook,  I do not have the proper attribution.  I don't know who took this photo, where it was taken, etc.

All I know is that the message of this picture feels like my heart for parenting in photo-form.  Something I constantly struggle to put into words.  It encapsulates all that I believe parenting can and should be.

While we're over here tossing kids into mini vans and driving all over the place to give them the best experiences possible in a madcap race against time, somewhere across an ocean a Mama and her child are slowly walking home.  She knows that all her child really wants is to learn how to be real: a real grown up person.  And she knows that including her child in real life speaks to the dignity, the personhood of this little girl.  As she trots alongside, the little one feels pride and accomplishment.  She can hold her head up because she feels trusted and strong, helping her Mama with important work.

Mama knows that childhood is not about pacifying or entertaining a little one.  It is about encouraging her to grow, gently, with love and nurturing back up with the willingness to let her try and maybe even fail.  She's not saying "I could do this so much quicker without you!," she's saying "Could you help Mama?  I really need you to carry this for me."  In doing so, she watches her daughter rise to the occasion and the confidence within her building.  By gently raising the bar of expectation, even for one so young, she is inspiring her little one to grow.

This type of parenting is counter-cultural here in the US, where prolonged adolescence is the norm.  But in my heart of hearts, I know it is the right way for us.  I hope that I can mother my little ones with the grace, faith, strength and trust that this Mama exhibits in her photograph.  By giving my children responsibilities, believing on them and encouraging them if and when they fail, I hope to raise up a crop of responsible, confident individuals.

Yes, I got all that from just a picture.

Dinah comes up beside me, wraps her arm around my waist and looks at the picture.

"She looks like a good mom."

I give her a tight squeeze.

"She does, doesn't she?