I won, I who wins nothing, a facebook giveaway entered on a whim.
It came in the mail on a Wednesday and I knew what was in the package before I opened it. I am my mother's daughter so I made immediate plans to give it away - to a friend for a birthday, maybe to my mother herself, just because.
But when I opened it up and looked, something changed, and I realized - this was meant for me. A simple chain, a tiny leaf, a pure white pearl and the word: blessed, stamped in silver.
I slipped it out of the plastic protector, held it glimmering there in my palm and thought about how much I forget. How much I move right on with my complaints and excuses, with my discontent and failing attitude. Yes, this was meant for me.
It swings from my neck when I clean up spilled milk all down the chair leg, 3 year old "oops!" still echoing in my ear: blessed.
I touch it lightly when standing next to that laundry pile as tall as me: blessed.
When they're all howling for dinner and Daddy is working late and yep, it looks like popcorn is all that's left in the cupboard? Blessed.
And when that little man of mine, still nursing close and calm, clasps it in in his hand, I can feel the baby inside of me gently flutter like a humming bird and I whisper it softly: blessed.
God, in all his wisdom, sprinkles his blessings through our imperfect days, signposts of His presence, always. Good things don't always come in neat and uncomplicated packages, blessings not always the easy, fun or beautiful. The very things that make me long to sneak back to bed and start all over again can be His gifts to me.
In all the mess and mayhem, in the midst of the hard and happy, I can forget. I'm scrubbing down the bathroom sink and it flashes in a sunspot, reflected right in the mirror and I can read it, backwards. Blessed. Yes.
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