To My Rosemary at 6 months

Oh, my little.

You are 6 months old now.  You smile and you laugh and you shriek.  You are endlessly adored by 3 older brothers and 2 older sisters.  You are Mama's heart and Daddy's little lady.  You are joy.

Although you are my 6th, you've taught me more about babies than the last 5 combined.  A wildcard who forced me to toss out any and all wisdom and know-how I thought I had.  You had me holding on by the skin of my teeth, drove me to my knees in humility.  These days are easier, but you are still my paradox.

You pulled my hair and scratched my chest and screamed in my face, but you wanted me.  Me.  If I threw up my hands and set you in the bed and walked away, your cry changed.  You wanted me, even when you couldn't stop crying. You sleep ever and only in my arms, sometimes with your hand clasped tightly around my finger.

It has been hard to enjoy it.  To gather up these moments and treasure them, one by one.  These past 6 months have flown, not because they have been fun and easy but because each day was hard fought and hard won.

But now, now you are 6 months.  Always my favorite age for a baby.  You sit up on your own and play with toys.  You lunge at food and shriek for more.  Still no teeth, still no mobility, but you're getting more independent...little by little.

The older kids adore you.  They sneak into our room in the morning just to be the first one to cuddle you into the new day.  They show me what love looks like - the unconditional kind.  Their spirits aren't bruised when you cry in their arms.  They'll spend hours coaxing a laugh out of you, singing songs and kissing your toes.

Peter is less than 2 years older, but he is so gentle with you.  He "reads" you stories and comes right up close to inhale your downy little head.  He savors you, even at two.

I never knew that joy and love could look like this until you came along.  I never knew a high needs baby could be so maddeningly sweet.  I never knew I could love this way.  That pure joy can come, blindingly bright, at the end of a dark tunnel.

Happy 6 months to my precious baby girl.  Mama loves her little Rosebud.

(I knit Rosemary a sweater-coat using the Tiered baby jacket pattern and {gifted} eco wool in the 12-18 month size.  Hopefully it will keep her toasty warm all winter - and possibly into next year, too!)

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