Blessed Assurance #MindfulMotheringMondays

"Mama, I'm scared."

I blink back sleep and groggily half sit up, looking for the baby who needs me. It's not until I look up that I spot her, my oldest girl shaking like a leaf. I can't remember the last time she sought me out in the middle of the night. 9 years have flown right by but by now being the Mama is so ingrained in me that I do just what I always do. I open my arms and she folds right in.

She blubbers on about nightmares and I stroke her hair while she shudders closer. She's much bigger than the last time she's needed me like this and I'm surprised to discover she's not a little kid anymore. She's a big grown girl. Still she fits just right in my arms and I curl around her as she falls asleep.

Sometimes I can't believe I'm the Mom. I'm in charge, somehow, of the welfare of 6 little people. It's daunting when I feel hardly older than my nine year old who still calls out to me in the middle of the night. When I was young, I was confident in adults. Confident that they knew that they were doing, confident that, as long as they were around, everything would be alright. Confident that I was in good hands. I keep waiting for that confidence in myself to show up - that day I arrive as a fully functional, fully trustworthy adult who can seamlessly protect and nurture and make all the right decisions. It hasn't happened yet. 

Some days I still head home just to hear my Mama tell me everything's going to be alright.

But maybe that's the way it is for everyone. Maybe everyone needs someone in their corner, someone on their team, someone they can let their burden's down with. Perhaps that's why God as our Father is such powerful and important imagery. You're never too old to come shaking to Him in the middle of the night, wild with fears. You're never too grown up for Him to curl around you close and whisper His promises in the dark.

In a world of war and disease and job losses and pain, we face down nightmares every day, but we never have to do it alone. When we're empty of answers for others, we can still be that strength when we speak His peace. Maybe that's the answer, why as a child the adults I knew always seemed so assured, so strong, so fearless. It wasn't confidence in themselves. It was confidence in Him.

The morning sun streams in, just as I knew it would, and in my arms my 9 year old snuggles closer. Never too big for my arms to hold. She sighs in her sleep and I'm rested, too. Enveloped in the comfort of knowing He is always just there.

{It's Mindful Mothering Mondays, a day to take a deep breath and write out your mothering journey, whatever form it takes. A day to link up for encouragement from others who are in this same phase of life. A day of writing out the trials and triumphs and what you're learning right where you are, right now.

You might post recent struggles or thoughts. Maybe just a picture or a quote. Or maybe you'll just come here and read the links that others post. Whatever form your participation takes, this is a day for you.
We are all in this, together. Together, we can encourage and build one another up, be honest with our shortcomings and strengthened by community to keep fighting the good fight.

I chose Mondays because what Mama doesn't need a little encouragement on a Monday? As such, I'll have the link up ready to go on Sunday night for you to begin submitting your links.

I hope you'll meet with me each Monday! Here's what to do ~

Link up your post below in the comments. Remember to put the link to the exact post you want to link, and not just your blog url. Include in your post a link back here so others who want to join in can find us! And visit some other Mamas who have linked up.

Post the community graphic within your post, so people who are reading your Mindful Mothering post can come back here and find the rest of us!

Invite the writers of your favorite blogs to join in!

Share this meme with others on facebook and twitter. This community is for all moms, and the more that participate, the more we will be able to enjoy!!}

Grab the graphic here:

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