On the 9th Day of Christmas

It's the 9th day of Christmas and I'm trying to hold on. Fighting back the urge to close Christmas all up in that red and green box and drag it to the basement. Giving us the rest of the weekend, the rest of the "12 days" before I shut it down until next year.

This is the hardest part for me. This in between. It's that time after the excitement, the parties, the candle lit services, but before real life begins in earnest. I'm caught between needing a break after all the merriment (because Christmas vacation is anything but for a Mom) and also needing some normalcy to our days. Some of that good family rhythm that keeps us all, but mostly me, in line.

It might seem that giving the kids a few more days of doing whatever it is they want would give me more of a break, but even in my go with the flow, laid back way I know that predictable boundaries give all of us a sense of peace. A restful knowledge of what is expected of us.

This is the year of purpose and at 30 I might be figuring it out for the very first time. That all the writing and creating and making is all just aimless stuff without purpose behind it. That a day without some sort of purpose or plan can wind around in circles until it ends with possibilities left unmet. I know I'll never be someone who packs my days with appointments, writes down every aim on lengthy lists or feels the need to be "busy" at all times. But there are things I want out of the days I have, and I need to winnow them out, give them thought and intention.

Perhaps that's what these last few days of Christmas are for? Figuring it all out. Making a plan (that is sure to include plenty of free time for free life because without freedom I can't breathe) that fits, and stepping into it on Monday with purpose and intention.

It's the 9th day of Christmas and I'm thinking that this is just what I need.


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