Friday, July 10, 2015

Just a Little Bit

I've been convicted of time management lately.

I told my husband "There is enough time in my day for everything important. I just need to be better about time management." He dubiously cautioned me "Everything? Don't overdo it." I brushed it off.

It's summer. The daily rush of school is set aside for a little bit. Why shouldn't I have time to workout, do laundry, read to the kids, make food, clean, knit, write, read, play outside...? The answer must be distraction. Unintentional time-frittering. I must be lazy.

Armed with a plan to intentionally "do all the things," I started. Quickly things went downhill. That is, not according to plan. Halfway through my work out, a parenting demand was made of me that I was unable to put off for later. So I got a half work out. Once interrupted, the baby needed to nurse, and then it was lunch time, and then it was clean up lunch time, and then I realized I needed to go ahead and shower and give up the pipe dream of resuming that now hours-past work out. Out of the shower, the toddlers needed naps. The baby didn't want to be put down. A friend dropped by. Another called. Then it was time to figure out dinner.

All the time, my frustration mounted. Frustration with myself. Why couldn't I be organized? Why was my day bite-sized chunks of this and that, never a full, satisfying box-check of finished tasks? I spiraled. Why can't I manage my time? Why can't I be like those "no excuses" Moms with ripped abs and healthy, well adjusted kids?

I leaned against the kitchen counter after wiping it for the billionth time, picked up some knitting that was laying nearby and knit a row. One.Row. "Well, that's something." I thought. And then I thought some more.

Today, I worked out. Just a little bit. Today I got a shower. I cleaned a little. I visited with a friend. I read to my kids. I pushed them on swings. I cleaned out the fridge. I had a heart to heart with my preteen. I filled hearts and bellies. I knit and I jotted down a little something to write about later.

Just a little bit of each thing, but you know what? I did get it all in. Just not how I thought it would be.

My life is full of interruptions, but interruptions are often God-ordained opportunities. Perhaps the most important thing I did today was set my expectations aside for what was needed at the time. That's no small feat. People feel comfortable swinging by my house. That's a privilege, truly, even though at times it can send me into a bit of a panic. Life doesn't stop. If everything went according to my plan, I'd miss out on so much of what life is all about: serving others in love.

God has given me a passion for many wonderful things in life. He has also given me 7 wonderful kids, a community of amazing friends and family and a husband to care for. He gives in abundance all the desires of my heart.

Today I got in bite-sized pieces of everything I wanted to do. Tomorrow I may not, but you know? I live a life where it is possible. Today, my time management is largely open to the needs of others. It won't always be that way, but while it is? I know I'm not lazy. I know I'm not making excuses. I'm also not checking boxes. I'm living life as it presents itself, one knitted row at a time.

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