Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Spiral of Discontentment

I love how clean it feels to put away all the Christmas decorations.  The rooms seem sparse and bare and open - bigger than before.  Just as putting each special piece out makes everything feel instantly joyful, celebratory, close - putting them away seems to shoo away the visual clamor of weeks spent indulging in every possible way.  The exhilaration that such a clean slate brings often has me looking for new projects to begin, new possibilities.

January has a way of making me get ahead of myself.  It begins with the knitting projects - dreaming of them, locating them, looking at yarn, contemplating sizing and whether or not it is worth it to knit more sweaters with Spring right around the corner...

And that leads to "right around the corner?  There will be a baby in June!  Where in the world will we put another person in this tiny house?" and before you know it I go from sweet baby knitting patterns to Craigs list (looking for storage options) to Ikea (when my Craigs List search turned up empty) and then I find myself looking at house listings...because someone who is doubtful of the pricing on the Billy Bookshelf options can somehow afford a house in the next 4 months.

Sometimes trying to "fix" all the problems I perceive has me coming to a place of discontentment - in this case, looking at homes much too large and expensive and heaving a sigh....maybe someday....

But that isn't where I am supposed to be.  That isn't where any of us are supposed to be.

Discontentment turns its back on the blessings that surround us every day and says "You Aren't Enough."  Discontentment says "Thanks, but no thanks" to the One who has made the miracles of our bright, warm, safe lives a possibility.

Its time for me to step back, take a deep breath, and truly be here...present in this place in time, in this place in life.

So what is there for me to do?  There are still issues with our home size, but am I truly maximizing what I have?  Or am I looking for a quick fix to problems that I could come up with a solution to - if I really tried?

For what I have, for the needs that have been met, for the desires that have been given, and for the gift of living a simple, joy - filled life,

may I be made truly thankful.

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  1. We want to downsize. Our house is much too big for us. I want to be closer. Sure sometimes its nice to be able to send everyone to a different corner of the house, but we spend 90% of our waking hours in the downstairs living/dining area together. And the upstairs living room that I just "had to have" has become a place to store things we do not need.
    BTW, I love the Ikea expedit shelves more than the Billies.

  2. These have been my thoughts lately. Thank you for the reminder that discontentment is at the heart of it. May I, instead, be thankful for what He has given me. Blessings to you!

  3. Good perspective, Leaner! We only have 2 rooms to spend the days in (living and dining) and so I often think it would be different if I had a basement to send the crazies down to, or an office for me to gather my thoughts. But in truth, if I am hardly keeping up in this little postage stamp, adding more space won't fix that problem. There are plenty of things I can change here to make life better!


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