Storms and Sunshine

Just over two years ago I knelt in a small upstairs room and cried the broken cry of one completely undone, cracked wide with pain.  And in the moments that followed, it all ebbed away and I was transformed once again, the weak mewling cry of a newborn soul sending me to new heights of love and happiness.

And now, preparing here for it all once again, yes there is fear there of the path I must walk to find that place again.  The waves that grow ever more choppy and sharp, dousing me white hot, trying to keep my head above it all, deep breaths, slow breaths, eyes closed.

Even now my body is practicing, slight small tightenings reminding me we are mere weeks away from it all again.  And I'm seeing it now, clear - how labor is the storm and birth is the sunshine breaking through the clouds.

Just like through all the trials of life, its a hard work that proceeds the miracle.  We are stretched and lengthened and grown through pain and hardship, and that just makes the end result all the more precious.  Hard won.

Its a God who loves who gently leads us down dark paths - even in the pitch black, always there.  And when we come out the other side, we see its His grace that brought us so far - His love that sustains and carefully catches each tear - His compassion that whispers comfort.

Although I have to walk that valley, He is with me. And at the end of the road, there's a sweet bundle of fresh born baby goodness waiting.  I'm ready.