A few months ago, when Mel suggested a getaway for her 30th birthday, I agreed - not really thinking it would happen. I have been so entrenched in family life for the past 8 years that the thought of going somewhere without all of them for days at a time, well, it seemed near impossible. Not only because of all the arranging necessary to wiggle free of responsibilities, but also because I wasn't sure I was "that mom." The one who could take time for herself once in a blue moon.
Still, all the plans began to fall into place, and I found myself looking forward to it - a cabin with the two littlest babies and the friends I've had since childhood. Celebrating my best friend's 30th, 18 years of friendship, by taking some time to really be together.
We pulled up to a little cabin in the woods and were shocked when we stepped out onto the deck and realized we were right smack on the coastline of Lake Michigan. Although there was no way we would be swimming (the water was freezing!), it was a beautiful way to spend the weekend.
And so, for 3 days, 2 nights, we talked nonstop. We drank too much coffee and ate birthday cake for breakfast. We went into town to check out an antique store and watched a grown up movie in the middle of the day with no interruptions. We ate a lot of great food. We played games and laughed for hours. We knitted, crotcheted, sewed. We walked the beach. We stayed in pajamas for as long as we wanted to.
And, while all of this was going on, I found myself realizing how big that life I had left behind had become. How hard I work during the every day. How much I have on my plate. How nonstop it all is. I think sometimes I tend to sell myself short, thinking that I don't have all that much going on. But this life, all that it is, is all encompassing. It took a weekend away for me to realize the weight of it all.
8 years of throwing myself completely into family life, motherhood and marriage without a moment to stop for a breath. And I realized how very, bone deep tired I am.
And for the first time in 8 years, I really rested.
