Saturday, July 7, 2012
Turning Up the Heat
Ben is standing at my elbow as I type in "www.weather.com" and we both lean in to see the projected temperatures for today.
"Yep, another hot one." 99 degrees by 2 pm. He sighs and mopes away. I know how he feels.
The house never cooled down last night. It didn't get a chance to. When I was putting those kids to be and turning around fans at 9 pm, it was still 90 degrees. They lay down in front of them anyway, glad for a breeze if only a hot one.
This morning, I got up early to try and get a few chores done before the heat rendered me useless. By the time the kids got up, I had realized that wasn't much of an option.
I'm noticing that, when things heat up, my imperfections float right up to the surface. My patience is in very short supply these days. It's all I can do not to snap about the smallest irritations. It is giving me an interesting view of myself. It is all well and good to be loving and kind and patient when everything is going my way, but what about when the heat is turned up? Time and again I'm failing.
I thought we'd have a few days like this and then it would be over. I justified my bad attitude by saying "I just need to get through this day. It will be better tomorrow." Still, the days have turned into weeks and if I live my life waiting for the perfect day to behave the way I know I should, I could miss out.
This is the day the Lord has made, 100 degrees and all. This moment orchestrated and planned by Him. Who am I to find it sorely lacking? To give up on gratitude and grace because it is just too darn hot? Maybe, by turning up the heat, He is giving me an opportunity to grow in the areas I need to focus on. By thrusting me into the fire of these days, a chance to be refined.
My sweaty baby, clad only in a diaper, comes up and pulls on my skirt, whining. He wants to be held but who wants to hold a 98 degree furnace of a person on a 100 degree day? I scoop him up anyway and we stick together. He's hot and doesn't understand and just needs a little bit of comfort from me. How could I turn him away?
I balance him on my hip and start breakfast. There is laundry to be done and a home to keep up and kids to feed and shopping to do ... life, then, still to live. I turn to take it on, heat and all, and pray to come out the better for it.
Labels:
Honesty,
this moment
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