I can hear him calling me through the still-dark house. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and make my way to the boy's room, where all 3 of my sons sleep together. He's standing in his bed, waiting for me, and I gather him right up in my arms and whisk him off to bed with me. It is 630 AM, and I know I've got another hour of rest if I can keep him happy. We snuggle in and he curls around my growing tummy, his baby sister occasionally giving him a friendly punch.
We're transitioning here, and it can be hard on a Mama's heart. He's so little; he's so big. The age gaps between my other children are just a few months more, but this time feels so different. He's just a baby.
I remind myself of this a hundred times a day. When I'm tired. When I don't want to put him in the carrier or nurse him just one more time. He's a baby. My baby. Another little one on the way does not change that fact. And so, we begin a slow and gentle transition. The things that need to change, do. We try him out in the boys room every night, hoping to get him acclimated to his new space, accepting it if he needs us instead. The things that don't, won't. Yes, we're still nursing -- and hopefully will be for awhile, even after the baby comes.
I'm embracing having two babies at once, as difficult as that sounds to me. Savoring his littleness just a bit longer.
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R will be 3 when the n00b arrives and I just started transitioning him to a different bed for part of the night (until I go to bed). It's working out okay, but I still need to nurse him to sleep.
ReplyDeleteB was only 2 when R was born, but was so much more independent, he'd already been going to sleep and sleeping by himself for ages.
So beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post and a beautiful belly :)
ReplyDeleteHe has the nicest cheeks! Do you just kiss them all day?
ReplyDeleteI had a 20 month gap between #1 and 2, and 26 months the 2nd time. That 6 months made a world of difference. I wish I knew how much of a baby my 20 month old still was that first time. I expected too much of her, not knowing any better because she was my first.
My first two are 20 months apart as well, and I know exactly how you feel. It's a big part of why I want to savor Peter's babyhood this time. With my oldest, I was so convinced he was "big." He wasn't.
DeleteOh I love this picture. I carried my two year old on my back all through my pregnancy with the newest baby (our #5). I got a LOT of looks the bigger I got, because how could I do such a thing? I just joked that the pregnancy and the toddler balanced each other out. I tandem nursed my older two sons and now I'm happily tandem nursing these two sons at 30 and 5 months. It is a great way to keep your toddler a baby a little longer and really helps make time for the older one when the littlest needs so much attention.
ReplyDeleteLauren, I did the same thing. I wish I knew how little my 18 month old really was when his brother came along (my first two). 18 months is just so wee still.