Something to Think On....

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Phillipians 4:8

My Mom's most often quoted bible verse.  As a teen I would shrug it off when she'd start reciting it to me, convinced that she just plain did not get it.  When I wanted to see a movie that she thought had questionable content, or listen to music with words and implications she wanted me to view through a lens of scripture.  When she wanted me to weigh decisions I was making, truly think them through before acting.  I'd stalk from the room with her words echoing in my ears.  Didn't she know that nothing cool was safe or holy, that cool things were fast and dangerous and shocking and...fun?

Then one day I became a Mama, and that verse is now one of my favorites, a signpost in my parenting journey and a  lens for me to peek through into my own life, as well.  I've seen that, like so many things about the way we are called to live, it's not about what you are giving up, but what you are embracing.  This verse gives the freedom to bask in the good things in life, the beautiful, the pure and the praiseworthy.  It gives permission to eschew the violence and hurt and anger and choose something different.  Something better.

It has been a slow, step by step journey for me.  Over time, I began to choose differently in the entertainment I consume, the thoughts I let linger, the books I read.  And, over time, I stopped noticing the absence, the things I can't or won't do or watch, and instead have found more peace, more happiness, more joy and more loveliness.  Taking every thought captive doesn't make a captive out of you - it sets you free.

I've been told that this way of viewing life is a little too "Pollyanna," and have heard the cautions that, if raised this way, my children will experience culture shock as young adults. I don't see it that way.  I'd wager that a childhood free of ugliness and pain can only be a good thing, something that could yield sensitive and compassionate adults.  Something that grows people who are not desensitized to the hard things of this world  inspires them to make a positive change.

Maybe if we all embraced the good and lovely, our outlook would be similar. If we all focused our days and our lives on all things wonderful, our whole world could change for the better.

So when tempers flare and doors slam and I'm begged to just let them watch x or do z, I quote my Mom and hold up the same list of standards.  I print them out and stick them to the fridge in the center of our home.  I stand firm when I say no, and lead them to different choices, even when they are unpopular or counter culture.  Hopeful that, iny leading by example, just as I was innoculated by the faithfulness of my mother, my little ones will take it to heart someday, too.


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