Monday, March 18, 2013

When It's Just Not Your Year {Mindful Mothering Mondays}

{I noticed this morning that most of the comments on my last few posts have been removed.  Trying to figure out where they went and get them restored.  Rest assured, if you left me a comment, I appreciate it so much and would not delete one unless it was obvious spam!}

Somehow it's Murphy's Law and those two little boys have me up before 7 on a Saturday.  I fight it as long as possible, offering snuggles and telling them "Just close your eyes, snuggle Mama..." but it doesn't work and before long I'm standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring blankly at the coffee maker that is blinking "6:45." I'm tired.

I turn on a quiet show for them and carry my coffee over to the computer, hop on facebook.  In my feed are all my friends, doing their amazing things.  Links to Pinterest ideas of fun Easter crafts, resurrection gardens and cookies and hot cross buns and natural egg dyes scroll past my bloodshot eyes before I snap the laptop closed and sit back with a sigh.

I just can't do it this year.

And although I know none of it's necessary, that life itself is more than enough for us to share, I feel the crush of guilt that is never far beneath the surface on this mothering journey. That my kids are going to "miss out" if I don't kill myself in the kitchen over some fun (and delicious) Easter creation.

I flip pancakes and listen to the big kids stirring upstairs.  Those kids.  Such a joy to me, such a blessing.  It's no wonder I want to give them everything special, beautiful, wonderful, magical.  How could I not?  It's a common parenting desire to continue to come up with ways to see their eyes sparkle and shine, to hear that sharp gasp, that pure joy cross their faces.

At times like these that it's helpful for me to remember: it's not up to me.  Not all of it, anyway.  I'm partnered with the God of the Universe in this, the raising of little ones.  He knows best, and if I follow His lead, I'll be fine.  Even if we don't tackle all the adorable Pinterest crafts out there, Easter will still come - and my kids will experience it.  I can feel it in our daily readings, how we are all leaning forward in anticipation.  And while crafts and treats are fun and all, His story needs no embellishment.  It is perfection all on it's own, dyed eggs or no.  And these kids, they can see that, feel it, just as I do.  He promises His word does not go out void and I cling to that as Lent draws to a close.

Maybe that's my lesson, this Lent?  The one thing I need to give up - the drive to do it all, and do it on my own, to not let pregnancy or exhaustion be an "excuse."  You'd think I would have figured it out long before now, but it took 28 years and 6 pregnancies for me to finally see it.  It's not about me, what I can and cannot do.  It's not about keeping up, or even getting it "right."  It's about humbly taking one step at a time, offering it up, and letting Him cover the rest.

When I realize it, I'm like a toddler, finally giving up the fight to do it all myself - letting myself be rocked and comforted.  I'm embracing rest - giving it all over to Him.  This year is just not my year - it's His.


{It's Mindful Mothering Mondays, a day to take a deep breath and write out your mothering journey, whatever form it takes. A day to link up for encouragement from others who are in this same phase of life. A day of writing out the trials and triumphs and what you're learning right where you are, right now.

You might post recent struggles or thoughts. Maybe just a picture or a quote. Or maybe you'll just come here and read the links that others post. Whatever form your participation takes, this is a day for you.
We are all in this, together. Together, we can encourage and build one another up, be honest with our shortcomings and strengthened by community to keep fighting the good fight.

I chose Mondays because what Mama doesn't need a little encouragement on a Monday? As such, I'll have the link up ready to go on Sunday night for you to begin submitting your links.

I hope you'll meet with me each Monday! Here's what to do ~

Link up your post below. Remember to put the link to the exact post you want to link, and not just your blog url. Include in your post a link back here so others who want to join in can find us! And visit some other Mamas who have linked up.

Post the community graphic within your post, so people who are reading your Mindful Mothering post can come back here and find the rest of us!

Invite the writers of your favorite blogs to join in!

Share this meme with others on facebook and twitter. This community is for all moms, and the more that participate, the more we will be able to enjoy!!}

Grab the graphic here:

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to future posts.  Thank you.


  1. I like this! We've had a rough year with illness, chronic pain causing massive medical bills, an 8 month old who still wants to nurse 4+ times during the night making an exhausted mama. "This year is just not my year it's his" I needed that!

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I'm dumb and can't get the form to link up to come up. I've got a post ready to go though :)

    1. Hmm, let me look at it again. It looks odd for me, too.

  4. oh my goodness the past year and a half has been like this for me. exhaustion and frustration and a forced giving-up. good in the long run, of course, but man, hard right now.

  5. What a well timed post. I will take this sentiment with me into the rest of the day. This one looks hard, harder than most and maybe just doing with with grace is the goal.

  6. I'm having trouble with the link too... I'll check back later and see if I can add it :)

  7. Ahh, very nice. I've been having my own 'Martha Martha' moments lately, and reminding myself- Only one thing is necessary.

  8. Weird. I can't see any of the links...Like the post though!...K

    1. I have no idea what is going on. I did it twice! Very odd.

  9. Ahhh Computers! Oh, well, maybe they will reappear...K


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