Room for Two {A Tandem Nursing Story}

I've had a lot of "I'll never"'s as a parent.  I remember when I had two babies, saying "Well, I'll breastfeed and wear my babies, but I'll never cloth diaper."  I cloth diapered our next baby and each one since, in some capacity.  With the third I said "Well, I'll breastfeed, wear my baby and cloth diaper, but I would never birth at home."  The fourth, fifth and sixth babies have been welcomed here in my own bedroom, yes, intentionally.    With my fifth I said "Well, I'll breastfeed, wear my babies, cloth diaper and homebirth, but I will never nurse two babies."

Well, guess what?

Things change.

I wanted 6 children, a lovely, even number.  After Peter, I never once said "we're done," because I've been at this mothering thing long enough to know that sometimes planning out your life can mean missing out on some of the best gifts life has to offer.  That being said, I was not ready when we found out about our little Rosemary when Peter was just one year old, meaning that they would be under two years apart.  As close as my first two were, yes, but then my parenting style has changed quite a bit since then.

I aim to nurse my babies until around their second birthday, as recommended by the World Health Organization.  Our number 6 baby arriving when Peter was 20 months old meant I would either have to abandon that thought, or I would have to nurse two - tandem nursing.  I wanted to savor Peter's time as a baby, yes, even when a new little one came along, so I began to look into tandem nursing for the first time.

Ask anyone who has tandem nursed about their experiences, and you'll get a mixed bag of sentiments.  From "It was the worst decision I ever made!" to "I loved it and treasured that time together," it seems to me that everyone has a slightly different take on it.  As I had never juggled a newborn and a toddler nursing before, the thought made me more than a little nervous.  I decided to wait to decide and see nursing went during my pregnancy.

The night Rosemary was born, Peter woke up shortly after.  Jason brought him into my room and in the wee hours of the morning, I introduced him to his new sister.  He kissed her and patted her and smiled so big - and was then ready to nurse.  For him, the comfort of our nursing relationship eased him through these first few weeks of big brotherhood.  His gentle and happy nature has held strong and he has welcomed Rosie into  the family.  When we nurse all together, he strokes her hair or holds her hand (and yes, my Mama's heart catches at the sight!).  When we have our separate moments together, we are reveling in our own unique and precious relationship with each other.

For us, tandem nursing has been a blessing, has allowed me to continue to "baby" my little Peter and has smoothed out our journey from a family of 7 to a family of 8.

I don't know when Peter will wean, but I'm not worried.  For now we are taking it one day at a time and it is working out better than I could have anticipated.  For me, the benefits have been marvelous - not only close, precious moments with my two littlest, but no engorgement or tenderness.  I feel great and nursing a newborn has never been more simple.  My biggest concern was Rosemary gaining enough weight, but a trip to the doctor has shown that she is certainly getting enough, growing very well.

So add this to my list of "I'll Never"'s that I've left behind.  And remind me? Not to say "I'll Never" ever again!


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