"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven..."
Matthew 6:19-20
9
In my hands is a tiny dress - navy blue taffeta and velvet. The years stuffed in the back of the closet have not been kind, and here and there are signs of the passing of time. I remember seeing this little dress in the store, a 20 year old Mama with her first ever baby girl. I remember balking at the price tag - it just wasn't in the budget, no matter how much I wanted it for her special Christmas dress. I left the store empty handed that day, the dress left hanging in it's place as busy shoppers pushed past in their pursuit of Christmas deals. We went home to our little apartment and I put the idea out of my mind. She would have to wear something else, a hand me down from a cousin or something found in a second hand shop after all.
Weeks passed and on a snowy day, just a few days before Christmas Eve, I found myself back at that brightly lit mall. I wandered past that little dress again, just for the fun of it. I loved the little peter pan collar, and how it was different than all the other Christmas dresses - blue instead of green and red and white. There was only one dress left, ironically in the size I would have bought. It was then that I noticed a red tag hanging above - Clearance.
I brought that dress home that day, for $5. Clearance along with a store-wide sale worked it all out to an affordable price. She wore it to our family Christmas Eve party. Somehow I didn't manage to get a picture of her - 9 months old, decked out in navy blue. I can't even remember how it looked on her.
It's 8 years later and I'm going through these overflowing closets and drawers, trying to make room for our growing family. My 3rd daughter is the 6th baby, and we just can't hold on to everything. The dress is in poor condition and it makes no sense to hold onto it. I put it in the donation bag and continue on with the process.
The truth is, holding onto a little dress my little girl wore one time will not keep her small. I can hear her outside now, singing at the top of her lungs with her little sister, every day growing bigger and stronger and older. I could save the dress. Put it in a box, shove it back to the back of the closet, give it space in my home and life - but for what? To pull it out every few years, look at it, put it back? A life lived always looking backward is a life that misses out on the now. I could spend my time stroking velvet and taffeta and dreaming about what was once upon a time, or I can live fully in the gift of the present. Instead of missing the 9 month old, enjoying the 8 year old.
I carry the donation bag downstairs and add it to the growing stash in the front hall. The girls run in, breathless and beautiful and ask for a popsicle. They aren't babies and that's ok and I nod my yes and watch them tumble back out into the sunshine. Soaking up today. And I head out to join them.
{It's Mindful Mothering Mondays, a day to take a deep breath and write out your mothering journey, whatever form it takes. A day to link up for encouragement from others who are in this same phase of life. A day of writing out the trials and triumphs and what you're learning right where you are, right now.
You might post recent struggles or thoughts. Maybe just a picture or a quote. Or maybe you'll just come here and read the links that others post. Whatever form your participation takes, this is a day for you.
We are all in this, together. Together, we can encourage and build one another up, be honest with our shortcomings and strengthened by community to keep fighting the good fight.
I chose Mondays because what Mama doesn't need a little encouragement on a Monday? As such, I'll have the link up ready to go on Sunday night for you to begin submitting your links.
I hope you'll meet with me each Monday! Here's what to do ~
Link up your post below. Remember to put the link to the exact post you want to link, and not just your blog url. Include in your post a link back here so others who want to join in can find us! And visit some other Mamas who have linked up.
Post the community graphic within your post, so people who are reading your Mindful Mothering post can come back here and find the rest of us!
Invite the writers of your favorite blogs to join in!
Share this meme with others on facebook and twitter. This community is for all moms, and the more that participate, the more we will be able to enjoy!!}
Grab the graphic here:
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Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThere are those few things that are special, that little dress on clearance was a gift from God, I believe. He loves to surprise us like that. Sharing your story will keep that memory alive and I'm sure encouraged someone today. I know it did me. :)
A life lived always looking backward is a life that misses out on the now. (what a wonderful comment and thought) That needs to be a needle point picture framed so every day it can be seen. Good job.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful!
ReplyDeleteOn a monday following a flop of a garage sale... thank you for these words as I try to hold onto all of this clutter! It is a burden over me everyday - all of this "stuff" which is meaningless in the big picture. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteThank You, Lydia... as usual.
ReplyDeleteI find myself grieving babies growing up too often these days.