He split open his head in June and needed stitches. He fell in July and had a concussion. In August, he seemed to take it easy, and I was lulled into a false sense of security. In September, he fractured his wrist.
"Ben was chasing me and we were playing and I ran down the slide and fell and face-planted!" he sobbed, tears cutting rivers in the grime on his face as I cleaned blood and dirt out of his mouth. "I smacked my hand on a chair, too!" Within minutes, my sister and law and friend, who are nurses, checked him out. My brother, too, a resident at our local hospital. Probably a sprain, just see how he does overnight. They get my brand of less-is-more parenting, and I'm grateful for that. But he woke in the night crying, and the next morning I called the pediatrician. His xray came back and I got the call at 6 pm on a Friday - fractured wrist. Keep it immobile and we can wait to cast it til Monday. Try to keep him from making it worse.
Have they met my 4 year old?
Later that night, my daughter told me her tooth felt funny, that one we had filled in the Spring and sure enough - an abscess. And I'm ready to cry "uncle."
Some days it is downright easy to choose joy. The kids play nicely, the sunlight flickers gaily, that bread smell amazing and my husband is home from work early. And then others, well...it's a fight, a full on battle to the death to find it. I can deal with disappointment and anxiety, I can brush these things aside but discouragement seems hell bent on ravaging me and at this rate, well, it seems to be winning. The truth is, I'm tired. Putting out fire after fire in daily life has me about at capacity. Anything more would require something else. Something more.
I remember that Joy isn't the same thing as relaxation, or even happiness. Joy is the security of knowing God is all good. That I can trust that. That what He allows in my life will not be faced alone. Joy is calling it as I see it - Grace. And it's no small miracle that the God of rainbow promises and newborn baby skin is also the God of wrist fractures. Tooth abscesses. Tired Moms and doctor visits with 6 kids in tow. Sibling arguments that break out before I'm fully caffeinated. To me, it might be the last straw. To Him, just another thing He can use to draw me closer. And you know what? It works.
I pray my way through the day once again, picking up that old habit and holding it close. I make the sign of the cross on little foreheads before bedtime. I touch doorposts and pray protection over this house and it's inhabitants. I don't know what comes next, but I'll be ready for whatever it is - claiming the Joy and security of knowing Who is on my side.
{It's Mindful Mothering Mondays, a day to take a deep breath and write out your mothering journey, whatever form it takes. A day to link up for encouragement from others who are in this same phase of life. A day of writing out the trials and triumphs and what you're learning right where you are, right now. You might post recent struggles or thoughts. Maybe just a picture or a quote. Or maybe you'll just come here and read the links that others post. Whatever form your participation takes, this is a day for you. We are all in this, together. Together, we can encourage and build one another up, be honest with our shortcomings and strengthened by community to keep fighting the good fight.
I chose Mondays because what Mama doesn't need a little encouragement on a Monday? As such, I'll have the link up ready to go on Sunday night for you to begin submitting your links.
I hope you'll meet with me each Monday! Here's what to do ~
Link up your post below. Remember to put the link to the exact post you want to link, and not just your blog url. Include in your post a link back here so others who want to join in can find us! And visit some other Mamas who have linked up.
Post the community graphic within your post, so people who are reading your Mindful Mothering post can come back here and find the rest of us!
Invite the writers of your favorite blogs to join in!
Share this meme with others on facebook and twitter. This community is for all moms, and the more that participate, the more we will be able to enjoy!!}
Grab the graphic here:
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Accident prone here. I like to say if I can get them to adulthood, I will be doing good. :) Each day is by the Grace of God alone. And, I too get the less is more parenting. If you shield them from all possible danger, they can never become who they are! A childhood unscathed is not much of one at all. Just think, these will make great stories one day and will bring many chuckles to your grandkids. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh no! Hope he is okay. And hugs to you mama.
ReplyDelete