"Light tomorrow with today."
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning~
I feel it for the first time today, that hint of dawn coming a bit earlier. The sky out back is a light coral color when I make the coffee with Rosie hugging my knees. Slowly, the days are dawning earlier.
There are dishes in the sink from last night and laundry still in the washer downstairs - remnants of yesterday that just never got done. The schoolbooks sit in a heap on the sideboard in the dining room, never really put away. My list for today is long - it always is. Schooling kids, reading to toddlers, the normal dishes and laundry and trying to do just a little bit more. I need to finish those taxes, to get together donations for Salvation Army. I need to make sure Ben's homework is done for co op tomorrow. I need to make dinner, change a few dozen diapers, get a shower at some point and get Dinah to reading on time. I need to smile and laugh and sing and be a happy mommy. I need to check on a few friends and hammer down some dates to bring someone dinner.
Lists are wonderful. They keep me on track, keep me moving forward. They also knock the wind out of me when I just can't seem to get on top of them. There's a gradual spiral of worry that can begin to unravel me even in the midst of doing all I can. Little whispers throughout the day that I'm not going to make it.
That's the thing, isn't it? The worry and anxiety that can bind up the days and months and years to come, making them captive to hopelessness.
These days with young children, they can make you feel like life will always be this way. There will always be sticky handprints on the legs of your yoga pants and tantrums about what's for dinner. Always matchbox cars on the stairs intent upon your demise, always playdough and cheerios carpeting the floor under the table. These days, they can give you that desperate feeling that time is just racing by and you're not really accomplishing anything - just treading water, barely keeping your bobbing head above the waves. But children grow up. Even in homes that haven't been dusted in a million years with Mamas who don't have it all figured out and haven't vacuumed under the couch in I-don't-know-how-long.
Today is just enough. Today when you said yes to paints and there were still traces of it on the dining room table when everyone sat down for dinner. Today when you dug through the mis-matched sock bin just to get your husband out the door to work on time. Today when the toddler never fully makes it out of pajamas and you don't shower until 4 pm, if at all.
Today, this is what you're supposed to be doing. And tomorrow? You'll pick up where you left off.
Setting aside worry, taking up the challenge to truly live in this moment - we are more than conquerors.
{It's Mindful Mothering Mondays, a day to take a deep breath and write out your mothering journey, whatever form it takes. A day to link up for encouragement from others who are in this same phase of life. A day of writing out the trials and triumphs and what you're learning right where you are, right now.
You might post recent struggles or thoughts. Maybe just a picture or a quote. Or maybe you'll just come here and read the links that others post. Whatever form your participation takes, this is a day for you.
We are all in this, together. Together, we can encourage and build one another up, be honest with our shortcomings and strengthened by community to keep fighting the good fight.
I chose Mondays because what Mama doesn't need a little encouragement on a Monday? As such, I'll have the link up ready to go on Sunday night for you to begin submitting your links.
I hope you'll meet with me each Monday! Here's what to do ~
Link up your post below. Remember to put the link to the exact post you want to link, and not just your blog url. Include in your post a link back here so others who want to join in can find us! And visit some other Mamas who have linked up.
Post the community graphic within your post, so people who are reading your Mindful Mothering post can come back here and find the rest of us!
Invite the writers of your favorite blogs to join in!
Share this meme with others on facebook and twitter. This community is for all moms, and the more that participate, the more we will be able to enjoy!!}
Grab the graphic here:
If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to future posts. Thank you.
Ahhhh, yes. Thank you for the encouragement. I pick up toys and crumbs and clothes and something that looks like a dried up booger, on a daily basis and yet the next day, it is all still there just in different corners and such. It can feel overwhelming and I do try to remind myself the very real truth that we are "living" here. We live in this house and life is messy. I spend most of my time enjoying my kids and breaking up fights and learning and teaching and cooking and doing dishes and doing laundry....a small amount of my time goes to sweeping, dusting, straightening, fretting if my home is "show ready"...I am actually grateful that I cannot keep a show ready home and homeschool and have little ones and have a life. It has taught me that some things just really are not important and some things are very important. My children, our relationship, their relationship with others and the Lord....that stuff is the real stuff, stuff worth living for, stuff worth spending time on. The sweeping, the dusting...it has its place but it is not important.
ReplyDeleteAbby and I sat down and watched some videos from her first year of life. While watching those, it reminded me of how much more chaotic our house was with a 4 year old, 2 year old and 4 month old. Now they are 8 years, 6 years, and 4 years and there is much more calm, a little less of a mess, and infrequent sticky hands and spilled milk (and no diapers - hallelujah!). It's a brave, new world here, but the list STILL doesn't get finished and it threatens to do me in as it does you, Lydia. Don't be discouraged - life is changing and it goes quickly, but each, new stage still demands our attention. The house can wait and the cheerios can still live under the couch. When the kids are gone and you finally get to vacuuming under there, it will be funny and a great reminder of these times.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, you and I are living the same life. I find courage in knowing that I am not alone in this trench. Thank you for sharing and for putting this crazy, wonderful journey to beautiful, true words.
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you! This pretty much sums up the way I've been feeling as of late with a 9, 7, 3 and 6 mo. old baby in the house! There are days when I feel like I'm just not "keeping up" but I try to remind myself that life isn't about "keeping up!" Like you said, life is about living, not lists...so true!!! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this...I needed it this week! With the winter still bearing down on us, we are all starting to feel the grips of cabin fever. Your words were perfect for me today...today will be today, and I will cast away the worries of tomorrow. Have a great day!
ReplyDelete(I accidentally left a link above...I didn't intend to. I was trying to leave a comment. Please disregard the link (or remove). It has nothing to do with mindful mothering.)