Tuesday, September 23, 2014
When You Think You Know
I was nervous. Panicked, really. It wasn't so much about homeschooling four kids. It was homeschooling that one.
The busy one. The physical one. The larger and louder than life one. The one who has outlasted me over and over again when we lock horns over discipline issues. He doesn't back down. He's untamable. Cross him and his tantrums pass like a tsunami over the entire day, a shadow over the whole family. Goodness. Homeschooling that one? Scared me.
But I made a mistake. When I sat down to plan homeschooling my boisterous boy, I only considered the difficulties. The hard spaces and rough edges. I focused on my fears and missed out on how fabulous it could be.
And oh, but that boy surprised me. The one I thought I'd need to put in school this fall? He's leading the pack. When I think about why, I'm amazed I missed it.
Yes he's loud and brash and strong and mighty. But he's also one of my gentlest souls. Sweet snuggler. I remember that the way to reach him has never been to match him pitch for pitch but to bring it down to a soft, safe place and open arms wide.
Homeschooling has been that. In the morning, he sits quietly with his work, pushing ahead and doing lesson after lesson until I have to tell him to stop. He fits perfectly on my lap when I teach him to read and he hasn't complained, not once, about wanting to do something else. He's lapping up my attention and I wonder if it's so much that it's changing something in him - or changing something in me. How I see him, changing.
You think you raise them. But sometimes? They raise you.
When you think you know? You might have no idea.
My Jonah taught me that.
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