Sunday, December 19, 2010

Thoughts on Raising Girls

She likes to sit in the bathroom and watch me in the mirror when I'm getting ready for church.  "Mama, you are soooo beautiful.  I love your hair!"

She follows me into the bedroom, and while I'm thinking that this will be the last week these pants fit, she's patting my belly and telling me how much she loves it.

I'm the mother of 2 beautiful little girls.  Two very different looking little girls.  One is short and tiny, the other taller, more solid.  One with blue eyes, one with brown.  Both take my breath away.

It is no secret in our culture that girls and women struggle with their bodies and appearance.  I don't think I have ever met someone who hasn't, in one way or another.  But raising girls, I've realized something: a lot of it is a learned trait.

I've decided to never say anything negative about my appearance in front of my girls.  It isn't always easy, and sometimes I do slip, but I truly do think it matters - so very much.

I am a birth doula.  As a doula, the women I see are not at their most fit when I spend hours with them during their births.  Frequently they have no makeup on, are not wearing incredibly flattering clothes and most have their hair pulled up into a floppy knot on top of their heads.  Not exactly how they would dress if going out for a date.

All that being said, of the women I have been with during delivery, every single one of them were at their most beautiful in those first moments after their babies were born - more beautiful than I have ever seen them before or since.  Sweat and tears and crazy hair notwithstanding, beauty is something that happens even when there is no makeup, no hairspray, no "slimmers."

You can spend a fortune on makeup and fashion, but a beautiful woman none of those things can make.

My girls think I am beautiful when I have no makeup on, hair in a pony tail, sitting on the couch in pajama pants cuddling them.  They think I am beautiful because they love me and who I am.

All the rest doesn't matter that much, really.  And I want them to hold onto that: the beauty of womanhood, motherhood, not found in a jar or bottle, but in who they are.  Made in God's image, the likeness of perfection.

Bookmark Digg Bookmark Bookmark Facebook Bookmark Reddit Bookmark StumbleUpon Bookmark Yahoo Bookmark Google Bookmark Technorati Bookmark Twitter 


  1. Lovely words. You paint a really beautiful picture of loving little girls well.

  2. Wow! And WOW again. I love every sweet word of this post. You encourage me so much as a mother and I am one of two little girls also. :)

  3. I love this post. A lot. I struggled with anorexia when I was in my teens, not surprisingly, I watched my mom struggle with anorexia when I was a young child. Is it my moms fault that I had this struggle? No, absolutely not, but I did learn (wrongly) from her that a certain body type was preferable. That it could make me feel better (it cant by the way).

    I dont have a daughter yet, but I hope I do one day, and I hope I remember this wisdom that you have shared.


Thank you so much for stopping by! I love hearing from you! While you're here, don't forget to click "subscribe"!