Picture Day

Its picture day and he's splashed water all down his front, straining tiptoe up to the drinking fountain, droplets dribbling down chin, a river forming all the way down to his belly button.

I'm not one for school pictures.  I don't plan to buy one.  Not even a yearbook.  I take millions of pictures on my own camera here at home, content to remember the less than perfect moments and leave the stresses of perfectly combed hair to other parents.

My second son is not the buttoned down, slicked hair type. On his face are 3 bug bites, a scratch and a bruise.  The bug bites from running outside at dusk.  The scratch and bruise from a "sword fight," which also, blessedly, took place outside.  If I were to take the "perfect" picture of him, it would involve a smudged face, black fingernails and probably the absence of pants.  Brown eyes that sparkle, too, even white teeth and those big lips from his Daddy's side of the family all done up in a big hearty grin.  That's my boy.

Even knowing all of this, who my child is, I too can feel that twinge when I see another mom with her perfectly manicured little guys all buttoned up, tucked in and shining bright.  Sometimes I might wish for a face that stays clean for more than a millisecond, or a shirt left unstained after an hour of play.

But there's something here, and I realize it this afternoon when I'm scrubbing a bit at the grass stain in his new-to-him khakis I bought last week second hand:  That maybe, for me, to parent this boy is to shed all outer expectations and learn to live down and dirty.

I once read an article about women and birth - how a woman who is perfectly sedate and worried about appearances can be hours from birth, whereas one who has shed all sense of propriety is ready to meet her baby.  How sometimes letting go of appearances is the first step to giving birth.  Life.

I know that life is all grace and to give life is to give grace.  To let go of appearances and wholly love.   To fully love this boy and how God made him to be - boisterous, joyful, physical, passionate and full immersed in life.  Instead of faulting him for not looking and acting in ways I understand, taking a moment or two to try and understand the way he was built to be - to appreciate the gifts that he's been given.

This road of parenting a boy so full of abundance in every area is rarely picture-perfect.  Giving up on appearances in favor of grace, I'm unlocking lavish love.