Having It All Together

"You make it look easy."

She's expecting her first, hands crossed over her sweet little belly and her words trap me.  "With 5 kids and everything.  You seem on top of it."

I freeze.  Somehow I never know what to say, how to find words that convey the high calling of parenting without painting it over as too rosy or, worse, too bleak.

I'm thinking about it now, sitting in the midst of the mess of five and I wonder that I do.  If she were to peek inside my mind she might see how I'm mentally scheduling dentist appointments and stressing about vaccine schedules.  That the baby is on a napping strike and the toddler desperately needs attention.  That I can't remember who took baths on which day and what day is today anyway?

If she could see my heart, she'd see that I don't always know what is right and constantly second guess myself.  I wonder if the discipline I hand down is fair, and if homeschooling is working well for everyone right now.  If she saw deep inside, she'd see how desperately I want to do right by these kids, and how unsure I am that I'm getting it right.

If you look at motherhood like a hobby, it is decidedly more work than its worth.  If you look at it as a job, no amount of compensation could make it worthwhile.  No, its got to be something more - and for some Mamas, it is.

A Vocation.  A God-given path through life, something you do, not for yourself or even for them, but for Him.  Its the Mamas who do it this way, who live it this way, they are the ones who truly seem to find their joy. The ones who can see past the ins and outs of sibling squabbles and picky eaters and just lay it all down.  To focus on what matters to Him at all costs and let some of the rest of it slide.  The ones who know that a shining sink and a spotless home are empty pursuits in the grand scheme of things.  The ones who relentlessly pursue the hearts of their children when the world says fame and fortune matter more.

These Mamas are the everyday heroes, the warriors who keep their noses to the grindstone and don't stress the crumbs while they kneel and pray for guidance.  These are the women who inspire me, the ones who point me to the source of true contentment in parenting.

Yes, the more I think on it, the more I realize that the Mothers that I see has "having it all together" aren't necessarily the ones with the cleanest homes, the nicest clothes, the best hairstyles.  They don't necessarily spend their days driving their kid to every available activity.  They are the ones who minister to those around them and keep personal pride at bay while laying down their lives.  The ones that point back to Him.

 Its in the yoking, Him with us, that's how it looks so easy.  Burdens are lightened when working alongside and all-loving, all merciful God who is with us each step of the way.

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 
~Matthew 11:29-30

Pray with me?  To claim what matters most to Him as most important to me - and have the grace to lay the rest of it down.