Monday, March 4, 2013

A Good Mom {Mindful Mothering Mondays}



It had been a hard day, evidenced by the fact that I was finally stepping into the shower at 3pm.  There were several bouts of tears during school, several lapses in parental judgement, tantrums and arguments and really I couldn't think of any way to save it than to just go back to bed and start over.  Unfortunately, there are no do-overs to our days, and I just had to make the best of what I had left.

Hardly had I stepped into the shower, felt that warm water on my skin and exhaled the stress that someone banged on the door, shouting about some sibling argument or other.  I closed my eyes and tried not to shout.  "I am in the shower. I can't help you.  I'll be out in a minute."  In that moment, I could almost hear it audibly, the word "failure."

I failed this day.  Miserably.  I had no grace or patience left.  I didn't want to make dinner, didn't want to spend another minute living in these 24 hours that had gone so terribly, terribly wrong.  The more I pondered that word, the more I realized -

I educated my children today.  I served them square, healthy meals.  I read the daily scriptures to them and prayed with and over them.  I cut a toddlers hair, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, the laundry.  I even sewed for a bit, making up a little something for the coming birthday celebrations.  I broke up fights and gave hugs and kisses to ouchies.  I incubated one baby and breastfed another.  I gave the little boys baths and I inspected jobs and school work.  I changed diapers and paid bills.

Even as all of these thoughts came to mind, I still couldn't chase away the thought that I had failed.  That none of it was enough.

And then it dawned on me - I was right.  None of it is enough.  Because even if I hadn't done one of those things, not even the easiest one - I still am not a failure.  My worth is no more determined by the above list of tasks than it would be if I hadn't done any of it.  It's grace that covers it all, that gives me my worth - not my list of done or undone tasks.

We all have our internal lists, things we think we need to accomplish or be to be "good mothers."  Strip away all of the expectations of what and who we are supposed to be, and then and only then can we live in the freedom that God offers - freedom to claim His grace in our lives and over our mothering.

We need to be gentle with ourselves, our good and our bad days.  While none of us would begrudge a mom on bed rest her inability to handle daily tasks, we can sometimes overlook that fact that some days we ourselves need some extra TLC.  That being tired, overwhelmed, over extended and under rested can result in needing a break.  Or in a bad day.  And there's grace for that.

So whether today you are the paradigm of patience and productivity, or under the weather and barely hanging on, know that you are right where you should be.  A good mother, after all.



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{It's Mindful Mothering Mondays, a day to take a deep breath and write out your mothering journey, whatever form it takes. A day to link up for encouragement from others who are in this same phase of life. A day of writing out the trials and triumphs and what you're learning right where you are, right now.

You might post recent struggles or thoughts. Maybe just a picture or a quote. Or maybe you'll just come here and read the links that others post. Whatever form your participation takes, this is a day for you.
We are all in this, together. Together, we can encourage and build one another up, be honest with our shortcomings and strengthened by community to keep fighting the good fight.

I chose Mondays because what Mama doesn't need a little encouragement on a Monday? As such, I'll have the link up ready to go on Sunday night for you to begin submitting your links.

I hope you'll meet with me each Monday! Here's what to do ~

Link up your post below. Remember to put the link to the exact post you want to link, and not just your blog url. Include in your post a link back here so others who want to join in can find us! And visit some other Mamas who have linked up.

Post the community graphic within your post, so people who are reading your Mindful Mothering post can come back here and find the rest of us!

Invite the writers of your favorite blogs to join in!

Share this meme with others on facebook and twitter. This community is for all moms, and the more that participate, the more we will be able to enjoy!!}


Grab the graphic here:
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10 comments:

  1. Yes!! We are all good moms, even on the not so good days, we are good moms.

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  2. Beautifully put Lydia, sometimes I think it's the hardest thing for us as mothers realizing we are human as well...these kind of days are horrible and that's when we need to remember to care for ourselves. How many times after a battle with one of my girls do I go outside and say "OK God, I messed that one up, thankfully we get another day".

    Reminding myself of all the things I DID do, helps I think....I hope you are having a better one today :-)

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  3. So true.
    And it can be such a selfish thing to revel in our failings instead of moving forward from this point;
    and that is not honoring to the Lord of all who has lavished His grace on us!

    I hope today rolls smoother for you friend. See if some small person or two wants to rub your feet! :-)

    Hugs

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  4. Oh the list of "to-do's" that will not die! And somehow some of the most important things I do never make that list!...Thanks for the reminder...K

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    1. To dos are constant, of that I am sure!

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  5. SUCH good truth there!! Today has been "one of THOSE Mondays" here, and I needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing! (Came over from the Blog At Home Moms group...looking forward to reading more of your blog!)

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  6. I had a very similar day today! As I go to bed tonight I know tomorrow will look much the same but my attitude will be different.

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    1. How we look at our lives really translates to how we live them, for sure. Thanks for coming by!

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  7. I think you knew that I needed this today! I had a terrible weekend... ingesting the lies that Satan likes to feed me. I was impatient, I was rough.... I was a BAD mother. I had been going on little to no sleep and it was all I could do. But sometimes it seems... God gives you days like this to wage war onto that self doubt. To truly give you knee bowing times to lift your eyes up and realize that he is our constant strength and comfort.

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