Finding Romance

When I was a teenager, it seemed to me that romance firmly ended once you became married.  And having kids?  Forget about it.  After true love's kiss, happily ever after was left blissfully to the imagination - and a good thing, too, because who would watch a movie about marriage?  Despite the fact that my  parents have had a long and wonderful marriage, I had this belief that life ceased to be all about romance once you were married.  And in a way, I was right.

Life becomes bigger and more about the combined efforts of a married couple.  The butterflies of puppy love aren't necessarily present on a daily basis, and that was something that definitely bothered me.  I was in love with being in love, and scared that the negative portrayals of marriage in our culture would be my story, too.  The "dailyness" of marriage terrified me.  How does one keep that love alive when it all becomes so...ordinary?

But that was many years ago. Today I had the opportunity to really watch my husband, and the commitment and care and love that he shows to me and our children - well, it is fair deeper and more complex than any teen romance.

His smile when the pediatrician raised his eyebrows at our admission of having not one, two or three children at home but a crew of five.  Our exchanged glance when the lady bagging our groceries told us how much life would change now that we had a baby.  How patiently he waited while I debated which type of trail mix to buy (and changed my mind several times).  Before heading to work, gently caressing the baby's silky soft hair, and then pulling me in close for a kiss.

In marriage, yes there are bills, and children, and not quite as much time spent gazing into each other's eyes.  Our hands are usually occupied holding those of the little people in our life.  He works nights, so I sleep alone.  We hug each morning, both exhausted from the night before and desperately needing coffee.  He sees the real me, flaws and all, on a daily basis.  I gather up his dirty laundry and make him lunch to take to work.  The difference is, now I can see the romance in all of that - in the sacrifice of sharing your life with another.  It is deeper and wider and longer and truer than I had ever imagined it could be.  And so, I fall deeper and more madly in love every day.