Thursday, July 14, 2011

Finding Romance

When I was a teenager, it seemed to me that romance firmly ended once you became married.  And having kids?  Forget about it.  After true love's kiss, happily ever after was left blissfully to the imagination - and a good thing, too, because who would watch a movie about marriage?  Despite the fact that my  parents have had a long and wonderful marriage, I had this belief that life ceased to be all about romance once you were married.  And in a way, I was right.

Life becomes bigger and more about the combined efforts of a married couple.  The butterflies of puppy love aren't necessarily present on a daily basis, and that was something that definitely bothered me.  I was in love with being in love, and scared that the negative portrayals of marriage in our culture would be my story, too.  The "dailyness" of marriage terrified me.  How does one keep that love alive when it all becomes so...ordinary?

But that was many years ago. Today I had the opportunity to really watch my husband, and the commitment and care and love that he shows to me and our children - well, it is fair deeper and more complex than any teen romance.

His smile when the pediatrician raised his eyebrows at our admission of having not one, two or three children at home but a crew of five.  Our exchanged glance when the lady bagging our groceries told us how much life would change now that we had a baby.  How patiently he waited while I debated which type of trail mix to buy (and changed my mind several times).  Before heading to work, gently caressing the baby's silky soft hair, and then pulling me in close for a kiss.

In marriage, yes there are bills, and children, and not quite as much time spent gazing into each other's eyes.  Our hands are usually occupied holding those of the little people in our life.  He works nights, so I sleep alone.  We hug each morning, both exhausted from the night before and desperately needing coffee.  He sees the real me, flaws and all, on a daily basis.  I gather up his dirty laundry and make him lunch to take to work.  The difference is, now I can see the romance in all of that - in the sacrifice of sharing your life with another.  It is deeper and wider and longer and truer than I had ever imagined it could be.  And so, I fall deeper and more madly in love every day.



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9 comments:

  1. I feel the same way. Nothing makes me love my husband more than watching him interact with the 3 beautiful girls we have made together. And I feel so lucky to have him.

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  2. so true and beautifully defined. I wish I could take this post and go back in time to share with all the marriages I know ended within the first years of having children. tired eyes that searched for the lost magic elsewhere.....when all along it was blooming right in front of them. No one wants to work anymore. everyone seems to want immediate gratification. Raised on 90 minutes of girl meets boy, girl loses boy, boy begs foregiveness in grand gesture, romatic comedies - many have no idea what real love is. AGAPE. You are wise to know what to cling to in this lost, lonely world.

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  3. Well said! Thank you for this heart warming post. I also love all of these things about my husband ♥

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  4. great post! Love matures in ways I didnt even comprehend when I was a teenager!

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  5. So sweet! And so true. People keep telling us that our lives will change once this baby is born. They're right. We'll go from single digits to double digits and they have no idea, lol. God bless you guys. You're such a great example for those young couples who are afraid of marriage for whatever reason. And I cannot wait to meet that beautiful baby in person :)

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  6. This is really great, and so true. Just wait until you have been married as long as we have, it will be 39 years in November. You learn of love and sacrifice,for better or worse, for richer or poorer and in sickness and in health you learn to love in different ways.
    You sound like you have a lot going for you I am sure you will be fine take time for each other and seek the Lord. Be sure to thank Him too.

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  7. How beautiful! Just loved reading this today. :-)

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  8. Beautifully said! Thank you!

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  9. I got choked up after reading that last paragraph! So true and so beautiful!
    As always, your writing is so encouraging! Thank you! :)

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